this just fell on the page. i never knew that i hurt you that way i really didn't mean it i thought i was being orginal but i guess i was wrong i am so sorry, please don't think i'm bad i don't want you to think of me in that way i know that i used to be like that, but i've belive me i've changed please don't see me like that no matter how i try to say it, it just comes out bad i'm trying to explain but it tumbles out worse god, i think i am cursed! thinks seemed to be great till i made that mistake now i feel you see me like i used to be just a huge, big bitch please forgive me, i don't want to loose you cause you mean so much to me i need to go back to the drawing board and think something new cause i know i am a creative person too no matter how i explain myself, it seems if i am to blame and all i now think of is the shame please can we start over again? this is very rough and it sometimes rhymes and sometimes it does't. as i said it just fell on the paper and it guess it's the emotions i want to convey.
Well, i believe you are just experiencing a new part of life. I get the idea, but i believe you need to work a little bit more on that. very good start though. I also think you have to work on how you play with words on your poem. it was just a little tip lol I dont dislike your poem, i just wanted you to know my point of view, ok? keep it up! i believe you have lots to give and you'll sure know how to do it
thanks for the tip. i guess i am still trying to find my feet in this. i am so used to writing short stories and it is hard tying to get one emotion out without telling a huge story with it. but i am gonna keep on trying and all the tips are helpful. do i flow or is too random?
I believe that as long as you feel comfortable with it, it's ok. Just try to express what you want to say and you'll have a really good poem. i know it is hard sometimes for us to find the correct words, cuz feelings can't be entirely expressed by words. You just think about what do YOU think about it. do you feel comfortable with it? are you saying what you were trying to say? just think about this next time you are writing and i bet you'll notice the difference. good work.
I love this poem. It may be rough but you can feel the emotion. It feels real not something you just wrote. but the words that were in your heart. This may not be a totally amazing poem but it is very good and i fell you are getting the idea of how to write a poem with power and emotion. GOOD JOB.
thank u! this was something that just happened and i know it didn't rhyme but it was all about the emotion. different but emotional.
what my emotions were long ago... ok mabye like 2 months ago, or last month :chemist: VERY NICE POEM!
Well as I have told you before you are talented and you have proved it yet again with this poem,ok this may not be totally overwhelming but believe me the way you are goin with poetry,you sure have great things for yourself,If I want I can point to a few mistakes I can,but I wouldnt do it,cause you are a bit new to this,so you have ample chance to improve(so has everybody this chance),but I would love to see more of your poetry.