Stereotype

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Phantasm, Mar 27, 2005.

  1. #1
    Phantasm

    Phantasm Well-Known Member

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    "Stereotype"

    I've come so close to the edge
    And I'm not sure I can come back again
    The cuts and the scars from the past bleedings
    Remind me of who I am again
    I feel the pressure building up inside my mind
    I tell myself that this one will be the last time
    I feel the glass pierce my veins
    I need the pain to make me whole again

    I can feel the pressure building up again

    Down the road and not across the street
    I need everyone to stay away from me
    All I need is a little shove to make me forget
    All about love and my life such as it is
    And I don't need you here to spew your shit
    And tell me that life is about living
    If if it were worth living I'd be a little more forgiving
    But I know that you're lying and time buying
    You're trying to keep me on this world just a little longer
    And if I could I'd stay but I'm not that strong anymore see?

    I can feel the pressure building up again

    Just get the fuck away!
    Just stay the fuck away!
    Get the fuck away!

    Cuttings and bleedings
    I can't live without them!
    Your teaching and preaching
    I could do without them!
    If you could see what I'm seeing
    My life is in misery
    If you could feel what I'm feeling
    You would become part of me

    My life is a journal filled with cryptic entries
    My words are a mirror to the blackness inside of me
    And I'm not going to stay here one moment more
    Just one little slice and no reason to exist anymore...
     
  2. #2
    [Th3 Wkng De@d]

    [Th3 Wkng De@d] Banned

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    That's a good poem, or set of lyrics, whatever you prefer it to be. But, the only part I didn't like about it was the "Get the fuck away" part. Sort of gets too angry there. Otherwise, I like it. Good job, and keep writing.
     
  3. #3
    Phantasm

    Phantasm Well-Known Member

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    Haha, I didn't even really intend this to be anything but at a stab at all the goth poems I've ever read. I'm glad you like it :)
    The "get the fuck away" part is pretty angry and angsty, but I suppose that's the narrator getting ready to go over the deep end.
     
  4. #4
    [Th3 Wkng De@d]

    [Th3 Wkng De@d] Banned

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    Yeah, I see what you mean. And it was a good stab, I might say. Lol.
     
  5. #5
    tankbusta

    tankbusta Member

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    Nice work of emotions there in your poem or whatever you want to call it. It is deep and seems to be thought about. Nice work. :)
     
  6. #6
    notneo

    notneo Well-Known Member

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    Like Ive said before . Your stuff is amazing . I just hope you are already a professional writer or whatever . Are you ??
     
  7. #7
    Phantasm

    Phantasm Well-Known Member

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    My writing? Amazing? You mean stuff by me? Heh, you must have me confused with someone else :)
    And nope, I'm not a pro writer, although I do like to read a lot, and I suppose that helps with writing too.
    Anywho, I thank you for your kind words, but I'm nowhere near amazing.
     
  8. #8
    notneo

    notneo Well-Known Member

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    We could debate that .
    You are incredibly good . And yaah i read a lot too . Thats why i can say that you are really good .
     
  9. #9
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    You got the talent and your stuff sounds great.
     
  10. #10
    JohnnyB

    JohnnyB Well-Known Member

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    It's an awesome, awesome poem/song. But it has no point, no offense. What is it a stereotype of? Or is there a hidden/personal point to the poem.
     
  11. #11
    Phantasm

    Phantasm Well-Known Member

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    I meant this as nothing more than a quick stab at all of the goth poems I've ever read, as I said in my reply to Wkng Dead.
     
  12. #12
    ahamLP

    ahamLP Well-Known Member

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    Cool,amazing,I just love this,but I have to say that the 1st stanza is a bit LPish kind of,but that doesnt make it any less,great piece of stuff,keep it up.
     
  13. #13
    CloserToCrawling

    CloserToCrawling Ambient

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    Very emotional and powerful. Nice Poem!
     

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