I Danced With Death Tonight I danced with Death tonight In a dress made of the moon's silver light and a boquet of razors held on my right We danced for hours crying bleeding laughing in each other's faces and yet, I still held Him tight I danced with God last night He held me like a child and said everything would be all right He spun me round and round and round s'more Calmed my every nerve and yet, I still pushed Him away I'll dance with you tonight With love as my dress and an extra set of razors just for you I'll dance with you till we can dance no more then open my wrists for you I'll let you nurse from my open wounds and do the same for you We'll dance in Heaven tonight on a bed of clouds so very white in clothes made of the purest silk and God on our side We'll dance and laugh and love forever since suicide is the only way to be together © D.A.A.R - 2004 ------ Any kind of criticism is appreciated.
inspiring. I loved it. I reminded me of a Romeo/Juliet romance. It was a little dark but I loved it all the same. you got a great talet for writing.
it looks like you're looking for form, and kind of wishy-washy making some type of form, so i would either make a meter or don't. anyway, it reminded me of HIM, except with Christian themes, and suicide and Christianity don't mix quite well at all so I'd say there's a definite clash of desires within the mind of the poet, and a clash of themes in the poem.
Thanks. I have more stuff, but I've been trying to refrain from posting any of it anywhere because I've dealt with plagerism problems in the past, plus, I'm in the middle of getting the stupid book I have, published. Thanks to everyone else for the comments, as well. :chaz: er, thanks? lol, I didn't really mean to include any religious matter into the poem itself, but nothing else seemed to work very well. *shrugs* B) ~*Silver