Got Something You Want To Let Out?

I can't write. Yes I know I'm typing this now to you, but each time I write a fucking paragraph or essay for my english class, I either don't provide enough info, or I seem to make it confusing, according to my mother who edits my paragraphs. Even though I have a good grade in english...I can't write, and I'm too lazy to get my fucking lazy ass up and do something about it because I'm the laziest bastard that I know. I'm not motivated to do anything (except for school because you get graded) and I don't think that I'm going to accomplish anything. What's worse: I don't even care. I don't feel anything. I'm just a blank blob taking up space in society. I don't feel sad or mad or anything...I'm just bare and blank. Of course I feel this way because it's late at night and I have nothing better to do than complain. And what better thing to complain about than myself. How fucked up I think I am. And then my self-conscious kicks in. I'm not fucked up; I'm the most normal person I know. I'm a brainiac; a nerd; a geek. (I don't mind being called 2 and 3 of what I just mentioned) but I'm not a brainiac, but I am. I am normal and I'm just typing what is coming out of my brain, through impulses in my backbone (I think...) and through my arms into my fingers. Tomorrow I'm just going to be laughing at this because I will feel much better but I'm too lazy to get off my ass to go to bed.

 

i know i cant write anything, i fail my classes and cant do jack, man this life is tourous, nothing i ever wanted ever came(besides food, but then im not givven a choise!) whats their in the world if ur heart desires something, buts never going to be obtained..
i own nothing, i have nothing, i friggen would die, only a few people and my family would notice, no one else would.

 

:hugz: :hugz:

 

thx
i kinda feel better after some special person came over

 

i took this college student stress test. if you score 300 or above you are at a high risk for serious health complications form all the stress, and i scored a 311. i have already had health problems from stress. i would get violently ill and puke my gut out cuz of this fucking stress. it happened for months. it even happened on Christmas. it was really bad. luckly that has stopped for now, but im getting stomack aces again.

i broke down again this morning(I have been doing that an aweful lot lately). i was in tears b4 my bio test, im fialing some classes, and i have had serious thougths of suicide lately. i know that its dumb, and that it wouldnt fix antying, but still, i think about it.

the person i used to go to for comfort is gone, and isnt any comfort anymore. i dont have anyone around that either 1) wont get me in trouble or 2)doesnt just want to get laid. none of my friends understand what it is like to be in college.

fuck them and fuck me. everything is so fucked up, im so fucking tired of it.

i didnt post on here for a long time (by my watch) and i dont think anyone noticed. i dont think anyone cares about what im going through. i told my mom about the test results, and all she said is "thats funny, your not under that much stress at all." i was pissed.

i hurt and there is no help for it. i'm completely misserable.

 

:hugz: Don't feel like that, there's always someone who cares. Maybe not know but someone will come eventually.
Parents don't know what it's like, you might think it's important, they might think it's stupid even though it isn't so don't get hurt over that.
If your mom knew you were vomiting over stress wouldn't she find someone to help you?

Maybe you would get better grades if you stopped feeling stress and relax, I have no idea how to do that and I know that it's hard but I'm sure you can find a way.

Don't be negative, after the stress problem is solved, you'll see life in a whole different way

Be strong and don't be afraid of asking people for help :hugz:

@ _Matt_:You're normal

@ fdmfkjd: I can't even think about that, I get so disgusted and disturbed....it's sickening.

My confession...I'm dyslexic.

 

i'll care.. you'll always be the one with the tiger as avatar.. so i care about you :hugz:

 

I'm worried about this Music exam I have. We're supposed to sing a song from a musical, on stage in front of judges and shit. And I am VERY SCARED. I have stage fright. Being in front of a class is okay, But singing in front of judges PLUS your class and other students?



I'm so afraid. I'm going to make an ass of myself. I can't SING TO SAVE MY LIFE.




Somebody just hurry up and escort me to Hell.

 

ehm... i can escort you to hell

no.. before you do it, you're always nervous.. but when you are actually singing, you'll notice there is actually nothing to it.. but nevertheless.. good luck

 

ehm... i can escort you to hell

no.. before you do it, you're always nervous.. but when you are actually singing, you'll notice there is actually nothing to it.. but nevertheless.. good luck

 

I know the feeling...at last year's large ensemble contest I had a solo in our piece--and I was terrified when I had to step forward and sing for the judges as well as the other schools competing. Just remember to breathe and listen to the accompianist. You'll do fine, if not, I'll join you in hell and we'll have some good times.

 

Its spring break , and im not doing anything exciting..
My life has really been boring the past few weeks.
Maybe i need a gf

 

ok, I posted it in the random thoughts thread, but this be the right one...

I fuckin' ended up 11th out of 240 ppl, on the English competition and only 10 go further to the state competition................. I hate myself and that fuckin' bitch of a teacher who couldn't read that fuckin Listening Comprehesion text. I am so gonna find her, come to her door and shoot her with a fuckin shotgun! If I only got half a point more I'd pass.....Fuck! :angry:

I'm bummed......... Fuckin puberty!

Sorry everyone for cursing so much, I don't curse so much usually.......

 

Heh =P

They think they're gonna hurt me. o.- [/b][/quote]
that's the point, if you're a girl, hangin' w/ the guys, they look after ya even more... they get all protective, that's why I lub my friends....

edith, shit... I double-posted, I'm really sry, I totally forgot!

 

that's the point, if you're a girl, hangin' w/ the guys, they look after ya even more... they get all protective, that's why I lub my friends....

edith, shit... I double-posted, I'm really sry, I totally forgot! [/b][/quote]
I know, but it's still annoying.

 

I am soooo pissed right now at my parents, especially my dad!

We got our repart cards today at school, and I only have classes and I got A's in both of them, best I've done since 4th grade. So, I tell my dad "Hey I got straight A's" and he says "whatever". I let that one slide.

So about 3 hours later after that I asked my dad what was for dinner, and he said I'm not eating because I didn't deserve it. We got 2 inches of snow today and I didn't help, because everytime I ask for help, my dad doesn't want it. So I crumpled up my report card and threw it at his face.

Why the hell do parents have to act like this?! AHHHHHHH!!! :angry:

 

That sucks prly. I'd be pissed off as well if I didn't pass. I think that you would have been great on the state competition and don't be mad at yourself. You're only human and so is everybody else. Anyway, I give you my support on any other competitions you have later on! And don't feel bad about your mark. You should be proud of it.

 

It makes me sad that girls don't give more signals to show if they like you.

I don't know whether or not these two girls (one is in my History class, the other is a girl I talk to sometimes at lunch) like me or not. We got along good, and I don't know if they're flirting with me because they like me, flirting because they can't help it, or just being nice to me.

Bah.

 

I've been cutting myself a bit, and nobody knows about it. Well, now anonymous people do, but whatever. Whew '

 

I HATE that.




I was just going to post the exact same thing, too.