I lived for you. Cough out this wave of dust/ I am in mistrust, This place where you pushed me into/ And I fell in/ for you. This rap song never intended/ To make you cry/all these years/ The most beautiful thing/faded in her tears/ I fear/to lose you every time/to my best friend/ To the time when this world ends/ You hurt me when you look to the ground/ instead of caring why I stayed around/ Only so that none might steal/the real love you had once for me/and I believe/ It’s no relief/ to help you live… Can I push you down my cliff of care? Down to where you can be mine This is the only place, I know where, Your surrender is my love’s sign. I hate it when he asks for a instant/I don’t give it/I’m hesitant/ I can’t afford to miss your touch/ I turn around and stop his clutch/ And then this feeling come over me/only next to find/a wounded him to see/ And you stare at me with a hardened heart/claiming I had no part/ To ever protect you from the start/and you runaway/leaving me in dismay/ And I walk my way/to the very day/when there’s no goodbye/and every feeling for you just dies… Can I push you down my cliff of care? Down to where you can be mine This is the only place, I know where, Your surrender is my love’s sign this is the very first time i have written a poem that i can't relate to...somehing to do with being over obsessed with your girl...just wrote it within 7 minutes...hope it makes sense...i need your comments...
It's good to see that you've tried a new style!!! And even though it's based on love, the writing's still brilliant...It still has your usual flair... Let's face it...you're a poetic genius. You can write on anything.
not bad. i found it kinda hard to follow along, but then again im not one for poems. but it still makes sense. good job