death in the Cave

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Arhaz, Jan 31, 2005.

  1. #1
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,068
    Likes Received:
    27



    Death in the Cave


    As the whirlpool drains away the reminiscences,
    Clears my mind of every moment I shared
    With the peacefulness of long dead dull senses,
    I’m thrown into the Cave again.
    I tried running out of it,
    Through its mouth, that still lies wide exposed
    To the faculty of defense around it,
    I’m afraid the World needs me no more.
    The Cave is alone on the heavy shore of cinder,
    And the Sun never dawns on this side,
    Leaving the birds to bewilder,
    Why darkness reigns during the hottest part of the day.
    I corner myself and hug my cold lap,
    Lock it near my aching heart,
    The silence sucks the last remains of lively sap,
    And I die never to live again.



    it seemed tough writing this...so..i'm sorry if it's too short and to the point kind, but i wrote what i felt, took 'bout 10 minutes.
     
  2. #2
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    0



    I thought i already gave a comment in this topic, i could say? maybe it got deleted, but any way, here is my comment again.... very good, this is short but as you said, to the point, powerifull, and kick ass, congrats on a good piece of writing!
     
  3. #3
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,068
    Likes Received:
    27



    thank you...um...sickcycle?
     
  4. #4
    lplava

    lplava Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2004
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0



    Pretty intense. A little short, but still very good.
     
  5. #5
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,068
    Likes Received:
    27



    thanks Vaanya!
     
  6. #6
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    2,190
    Likes Received:
    1



    It doesn't matter how short or long it is what matters is what comes from you.Great job you did.
     
  7. #7
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,068
    Likes Received:
    27



    lpsk8er...thank ya!
     

Share This Page