i don't want to know you

I don’t want to know you



This isn’t the last time I’m going to complain,
About this rising pain,
You’re driving me insane,
I don’t want to know you.

I can’t fear myself ‘cause I fear you,
The things you put me through,
I have no clue,
I don’t want to know you.

I dived into my sadness the moment you hurt me,
Just leaving me to see,
The broken pieces of me,
And I don’t want to know you.

I can’t resist the glossy temptation,
Of helping myself with my submission,
I’m dying by your prediction,
I don’t want to know you.

Just leave me alone, just for the instance,
You know I won’t offer resistance,
Freedom has been my only sustenance,
And I don’t want to know you.


*cries* *dies*

 

Potential this has. [I sound like Yoda] It was crafted well, in fact very well, I like how you rhymed 3 lines then broke it up with the fourth that was in all the stanzas. The subject has limitless potential, but you just need to use more descriptive words, less used ones, replace "fear" with something else, and make your rhyme more complex, not easy. Over all good as is, but could be better.

 

point noted thank you!

 

Short but not bad.

 

i like the repetition of the line

"i dont want to know you"

sometimes things are repeated to much and it gets killed. but this is nice. i really like it good job

 

thank you !