Please Use Other Door

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Darcy, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. #1
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Yep...this may or may not suck.

    ------

    I'm alive
    You can tell by the stains on my face
    The scars are hidden, you can tell I'm a waste
    And I care
    You can tell by the lines I abuse
    And the way that I always find some way to lose
    The slam of the door and the stains on the floor
    And the way you can tell that I've done it before

    Chorus:
    Let me in
    I swear I'm an inspiration
    Without motivation, I'm not even faking
    Let me in
    Cause you know I know more about this
    I can take every hit and I'm not even sick
    Well I wasn't so sick at the time

    I feel fine
    You can tell by the way that I choak
    The reason's the same I've got nowhere to go
    I'm awake
    It explains why my eyes are still shut
    My only complaint is I can't get enough
    And I'm sick as fuck but I feel alive
    And the sun is up so fuck I'm alright

    Chorus

    I wasn't so sick at the time

    But you know how things can change
    I used to care but that was only a phase
    I'm so tired I've given up trying
    I used to care but I changed my mind
     
  2. #2
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

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    it was really good, but the last verse at the end went down a bit, try other words than fuck, I say using cuss words can show lack of vocabulary, only every now again, when reallllllllly pissed or if it fits the mood of a song.

    "And I'm sick as fuck but I feel alive
    And the sun is up so fuck I'm alright"

    right there fuck needs to be replaced, just my opion, but it doesnt suck
     
  3. #3
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Yeah I guess there is a little too much fuck. I thought it sounded weird when I put it there twice at the end. But I was sorta too lazy to change it. I'll change one of them, or just take it out or something.

    Thanks for reading!
     

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