This song took me a while to write, and it underwent a lot of changes in that time. There is an alternate chorus, in which only one line is changed (both choruses are meant to be in the song, like in BTH), and a verse which I'm not so sure about at the end. If any of the lines don't rhyme, it is because they sound better if not rhymed (or because I couldn't come up with a rhyme). The title I feel must be changed, but I can't come up with another one, so suggestions about that would be great as well. And please note that the words in the prechorus are whispered. Thanks. HERE AND NOW VERSE 1: Here and now, I stand alone I see you in the distance I've been waiting for so long I've been waiting to see the sun ... PRE-CHORUS: (What can I do now?) CHORUS: I can't see you anymore I'm blinded by these lies you've told Inside, my soul has been torn (apart) And now I see this pain unfold VERSE 2: I struggle to fight this pain inside My soul has been scarred by all your lies I've been tortured by you in this life And now I'm fading away My mind is being ripped apart And all that is left of me Is everything that you left behind Eating at me, and I'm fading away ... PRE-CHORUS: (What can I do now?) CHORUS 2: I can't see you anymore I'm blinded by all the lies you've told Inside, my soul has been torn (apart) And all I see is this pain unfolding VERSE 3/BRIDGE: Here and now, I look at you Feeling all this rage in me All of this pain that came from you All I want is to be free ... Here and now, I face reality Feeling the nothingness inside of me I just can't hold on any longer All I want is to be free ... CHORUS 2: I can't see you anymore I'm blinded by all the lies you've told Inside, my soul has been torn (apart) And all I see is this pain unfolding ... POSSIBLE VERSE (NOW SCRAPPED): I feel my heart folding up inside I feel this pain that I cannot fight On and on, so many lies that you told me All along, you always tried to mould me Into something else, but now I am stronger I'm somewhere else now, and I know I belong here So go away, bitch, I'd rather be lonely Than feel all this pain unveiling itself inside me Let me just spell out for you, loud and clear It should be obvious, I really don't want you here Not after all the things that you did to me In spite of it all, I'm rid of it all, you see? You lied to me, you stole from me You kept the truth from me, but inevitably You wore out your welcome, and now I see All the emptiness I felt when you left me
Yeah ... some replies would be good ... especially since there are so many people viewing the page ...
you should cut out the lines that are LP lookalikes like you wore out your welcome (A place for my head i believe its from) and few others that look like LP, original is always better and shows who you are, we all know who LP are, but who are you in your piece???? you should measure yourself against a standard of who you are, not of a standard of lyrics of group you love. the flow was good, i can see the work you've put in. i can see it working in a song. and if nobody comments it doesn't necessarily mean your piece isn't good, so you can chill out, if you know its good and you see the number of people who saw it, should warm your heart, you got it out there.
Overall it's a repititive piece. You're just re-phrasing the same concept and it gets rather boring. For instance, the line "My soul has been scarred by all your lies" in verse 2 is the same as the line "I'm blinded by these lies you've told" in your chorus. "You wore out your welcome," is cliche'. I'm confused -- you want this person out of your life or you don't? That's all.
yeah - the protagonist of the song is trying to get rid of memories of this person who has (as i say it ) returned from a dark past. and i apologise if it's repetitive - this is one of the first pieces i've worked on and, yes, it has numerous flaws.
after much reflectiion, i'm going to get rid of that verse at the end. there's been too many complaints about it. henceforth, please don't post anything regarding that verse. i understand it's not good - please don't say anything more about it.