On The Way Home Something has left my life but I’m not sure what. Somehow I’ve dug myself into a miserable rut. Lately I can’t seem to identify my purpose in life. It suddenly seems that I fight a grim battle against strife. How come I can’t feel the way you used to make me feel? When I try to say I love you too, I just don’t believe it’s as real. My eyes feel heavy with the burden of pretending just to make you glad. And the dejection is leaking through my empty gaze and cold hands. On the way home today I realized we were never meant to be. While stuck in traffic I professed to my steering wheel that it’s time I leave. I can’t love you if I don’t love myself first. I can’t wish you a happy anniversary if every month I feel worse. It doesn’t feel right kissing you when I could hardly even get dressed today. And I haven’t placed an order at the flower shop in days. I’m sorry for not calling you to say goodnight like I used to do. The truth is that I have the suspicion that you know I want this to be through. So I’m sorry for turning into someone you probably don’t know anymore. Time has passed on for so long but we’re farther apart than ever before. I feel so ugly when I look into the mirror and I’m disgusted in leading you on. I should have told you a long time ago that something was wrong. I’m a stranger to you no matter how much you tell yourself that you know me inside out. On the way home today I started crying as I pieced this puzzle to see what it’s all about. It’s been crawling in my skin for so long but I couldn’t voice the right words. Now that it’s been said, I must leave because watching you die with me burns. I don’t remember how it felt to embrace you and smile. I try holding you, but it feels as lonely as being trapped on a deserted isle. Looking at you feels awful because I’m starting to see what my decline is doing to you. I’m starting to bring you down with me and that’s why I have to say we’re through. So I’m sorry for turning into someone you probably don’t know anymore. Time has passed on for so long but we’re farther apart than ever before. I’ll always love you in my own way as you try to move on. You can have your heart back; I’m sorry I broke it and held the pieces for so long.
Thank so much, Will. I haven't told anyone here yet, but these pieces I've shared with you all are based on real events that happened to yours truly this year. It seems when things go bad in my life, I write more than ever.
you go deep in your poems and its kind of obvious its what happened to you personally. and get it all out in poems is great then to keep it all inside. i love the poem, its very honest and i say with honesty you'd get respect (from most people at least, or maybe i am speaking for myself? dunno, i kick my boyfriends ass/ = not physically/ if he aint honest with me for sure) even if you have to come out with it to break somebody's heart, its better then lying to them. and you came out with your feelings beatifully 'cos you really show yourself in it.
It was the most difficult decision I've ever made in my life and many times after making it, I changed my mind. But thankfully, she could see beyond that and realize the flame really did die down and we could never last forever. It was a high school sweetheart kind of relationship -- it wasn't eternity like we thought. We no longer speak at all, but I think it's best. I don't regret leaving her anymore nor do I regret being involved with her and hanging on for so long. You just move on and learn, you know?
exactly. plus you know when we fall in love we always hope for the forever, but thats asking for miracle. i had to split up with somebody i loved and we had this maybe i wanna be with you for a long long time and all those dreams, we still love each other, but our lives together were going nowhere, so i had to say go now before we destroy ourselves. i mean friendship survived thru some pitfalls and thats real nice, , but its time to get our individual lives back together and welcome others to our lives, well i did (but i aint getting serious about it til the time is right or maybe never with this guy, i go with da flow) heart is big and can love many times while the old loves stay there in heart forever being loved, but you have to get over the grief, the anger and all that pain from not being physically there for each other, for having lives that go different ways. but while it hurts it gives birth to some powerful poetry like you write for example.
just a few problems w/ some lines: What the hell does "rut" mean? I think you should take out the word "suddenly". Consider taking out the words "too" and "as". that's all.