Dysfunctional Prayer

this is called 'LOOSING MY FAITH'

Sorry to the Christians, dont mean to offend, its kind of personal projection on the prayer.
is kind of autobiography with people in my life in it blended in.

the grammar isnt perfect here and its not meant to be.

My Father,
who aren't in Heaven
Hollow is your name to me
please don't come near to me
you'll hurt my heart again
you'll take away my daily bread
as you did at home and out of it
because you had no hope
except to smoke your dope
don't ever enter my kingdom
to trespasss on my boundaries
you will only abuse me
I prayed there was a Holy Spirit to save me
to deliver me from the shit you gave me

Away with you Holy Mother
you were not there for me
you were there for yourself
doin' your momma bit for the outside
then you beaten up the other cheek
when nobody else could see
I was only a little girl
what mattered to you were
not the bruises you caused me
but what would the neighbours say
because you loved them quite ok
you even went to bed with them
you made me, your daughter, your enemy
just as well you gotta love me now
you gotta love me now
oh yeah?Right! I am in Eternal
dis-Belief

Still lookin' for the Saviour
my soul repentin'
for all their sins
I am ready for you, Jesus
waiting on my knees
Bleedin'
Cryin'
hardly breathin'
I put my hands up
but your Church, the dirt site
did nothing but chain me
but i ain't a sheep

So I say unto you
who crucified me
I believe in Nothing
but what's inside of me

 

any comments on this one????????

 

Smart lyrics, i like the way you have constructed this. And dont worry im a christian and wasnt offended, we are all allowed our opinion, keep it up

 

thanks for your comment i didnt want it to be taken as a statement on christianity, rather a personal thing, glad it did came out the way i wanted to.

 

Amazing. Few mistakes here and there but I got the message. I never thought of doing something like that. I'm Catholic by the way (and still I love this).

 

thanx for your comment, , could you please point me the mistakes so i can undo them, english is my second language, so its a help.

 

1) enter into are pretty much the same. get rid of "into"

2) you prayED there was a Holy Spirit is what i think you mean

3) then you beaten up? then YOU'RE BEATIN' up, perhaps?

4) disbelief is one word

5) crucified not crusified