My fears consume As I open the wounds I can't stop myself again I clutch hold tight I'm not ready for the fight So I put on my facade again I dont want to be the one These battles always chose Cos inside I realise that whoever wins I lose I Can't control myself anymore I dont know why I'm scared I dont know why I decide to fight When I know I'm Not prepared I'm out of touch with destiny I know this isn't right So I'm braking the habit I'm Braking the habit Tonight There is no cure I get knocked to the floor I try to catch my breathe again Hit after hit My blood is my spit I can't get back up again I dont want to be the one These battles always chose Cos inside I realise that whoever wins I lose I Can't control myself anymore I dont know why I'm scared I dont know why I decide to fight When I know I'm Not prepared I'm out of touch with destiny I know this isn't right So I'm braking the habit I'm Braking the habit Tonight I'll paint it on the walls Cos I'm The one at fault I'll never fight again And this is how it ends I Can't control myself anymore I dont know why I'm scared I dont know why I decide to fight When I know I'm Not prepared I'm out of touch with destiny I know this isn't right So I'm braking the habit I'm Braking the habit I'm braking the habit Tonight
I [my] clutch hold [held] tight I'm not ready for the fight So I put on my facade again ________________________ I really liked it, but there are some parts that i didnt, i marked it above, i think they may just be typos, but it would work better if you put, "My clutch held tight" instead of "I clutch hold tight". And when you say in the choris, "I dont know why i deside to fight, When i know i'm not prepared" It sounds like he regrets fighting only because he cant win when he does, or, gets beat up, just isnt ready to fight. Which is not cool if thats the only reason he wants to stop fighting.... Ohter than those two things, i thought it was really good, good wording and the rest, just i'm not keen on people re-writting other peopels songs, stick to your own original stuff, because its clear you do have talent.
no problem, keep writting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/b][/quote] *writing And I will keep on writing and my band will keep on making good songs for the writing
Pretty good, your newer one was better (especially the first verse) IMO. That might just be because I think APFMH is a better song though.
in the chorus i rekkon that you should tighten it up a bit,take out some words and stuff.but overall,much better the the original
well, actually i dont think it matters if its cool or not that 'he' doesnt want to fight if its only that hes gonna loose. i mean it might be even more better that way, in a way of meaning, he this guy is honest= he's got guts to be honest that he would not do what is morally best (like if its a right battle to fight, why not give it a try instead of giving up just cos you put yourself down that you cant win it) like an honest confession its cool, but i agree that writing one's original stuff is better. some of the stuff you can rewrite like this and its great, although i dont think you could ever beat the ....god i completely forgotten the name of that song now, its from hybrid theory, song after In the end think its number 9, (sick of the tension, sick of the hunger....... you know with the moon/sun stuff, that part cannot be beaten! to improve somebody elses work might not be as rewarding as one's one and the energy put into ones own stuff too, and could go on the list, wont. but conclusion: i do agree there's enough talent for the original stuff. keep on going!!!!!
Thanks alot And I thikn the song title you were looking for is A Place For My Head or as I covered Plc.4 mie Head But thanks for the comments
i saw 2 problems: 01. The line 'My blood is my spit' makes sense, but doesn't fit with the beat and the rest of the words. Something like 'My blood becomes my spit' would do better. 02. The line 'I clutch hold tight' does not make sense. Otherwise, I love it.
i saw 2 problems: 01. The line 'My blood is my spit' makes sense, but doesn't fit with the beat and the rest of the words. Something like 'My blood becomes my spit' would do better. 02. The line 'I clutch hold tight' does not make sense. Otherwise, I love it.