Lying: is it acceptable? A few days ago, somebody said to me: "Lying is allright, in certain situations. Also, the truth is often too hard to handle. Plus the fact that with lying, you can make yourself appear better then you are, wich is a good thing." to wich I definately disagreed. so, lying. Everybody has done it sometime in the past, does it sometime and/or will do it sometime in the future. But is it really necessary(sp?)? Tell me, what do you think? Do you think it's best to always be honest? Do you think it's acceptable in certain situations? When a friend has commited suicide, when you've just deflowered your new girlfriend or when you think someone's ugly and he/she already has a low self-esteem? Or do you think it's always acceptable to lie, since no one will find out anyway or it doesn't matter to you? Just trying to get a discussion started here.. Anyway, my own answer: Lying is never positive. It's extremely hard to keep a lie you've made up alive, even if you come to believe that lie yourself over time. Because, somewhere, you will always acknowledge the fact that it's not the truth. And people will feel it. Not everybody is as skilled with body language, and as good in touch with their intuitive feelings as others are, but almost anybody can detect a lie when it's spoken (or written or whatever). Even if the person doing it is an extremely skilled liar. Just as you can feel it when there's something wrong with someone, for example, even though that person acts as if everything's all right. The point is, that people will always know they're being lied to, either in a small or a large way, and it won't lift their spirits. It will worsen when their feelings get backed up by hard facts. And, almost any lie will come out eventually. It's that simple. No lie can be held alive forever, because of the simple fact that it's a lie. The person I talked to stated that a good example of when lying can be a good thing is when someone cannot accept the truth about something. People can take on a lót more then one would usually think, before it becomes too much for one person to handle. People often are tougher then they appear. Though that varies from person to person ofcourse, but only in small degrees. The only possible way a person cannot handle certain truths is when that person has been lied to before, multiple times in his or her life (read: véry often). If those lies weren't told, then that person wouldn't need to hear a lie now either. For example: You're on a vacation. You come back, and in the meantime a good friend of yours has commited suicide in an absolutely horrible way. Another friend of yours knows this, and thinks about wether to tell you the truth, or a lie. If the other friend tells you a lie, you will never feel completely content with it, for deep down, you will know that it's not the truth, and you will never be able to let it rest completely. When it comes out, you will be bothered even more, it will be a complete strain on your psyche, depending on how strong you are in that respect. If that person, on the other hand, tells you the truth... Then you, in normal circumstances, would be able to handle it, even though it would be a shock to you. If you would not be able to handle it, there are two possible reasons: Either you've been lied to before, lots of times (about that friend's mental problems because of wich he or she came up to the point of suicide), or you have a lot of your own heavy problems on your mind, in wich case you've lied to yourself multiple times about one thing or the other, or you would've been able to face certain things a lot earlier so they wouldn't bother you for long and pile up like that. It ís true however, that people should be carefull with what they ask or how they say stuff. If for example, your daughter came home with a new boyfriend, and you'd want her to stay a virgin until marriage above all else, then you certainly don't ask if she's still a virgin because when something has happened, you either will become mad or you'll force her to lie. Wich isn't a good thing also. It's the same when you know you aren't the prettiest person in the world and you're not all that happy about yourself, and you ask someone of he or she finds you extremely attractive. If you know beforehand the answer's gonna be something you don't like, then don't ask it. The other point is from the other side, if someone asks you such a thing, you could say he or she is as ugly ass your grandmothers wrinkled butt, but you could also state it in somewhat less harsh terms. Consideration is wanted ofcourse, but beyond that I think that there is never a real need for lying. And, when push comes to shove, *everybody* appreciates being honest to. Everybody. Or do you appreciate it when someone lies to you? To 'protect' you or whatever? To me it indicates a lack of respect, but maybe other people view it quite differently ofcourse, that's what I want to know... A quote that, for me atleast, always rings true: 'If you always tell the truth, you'll never end up alone'. Anyway, what do you think about this whole issue?
lying is acceptable sometimes it's necesarry , you can hurt someone very hard sometimes if you don't lie ,but try to lie only if it's real necesaryy
Allright, but please try to give your opinion a bit more fundation... In what situations do you think it's acceptable for someone to lie to another? Can you give some examples perhaps? And why is it then a good thing to lie?
Sometimes it's necessary, but it's a habit that you should never get into as a routine. I'm against it as a whole, but I did call in sick on Saturday to go to a birthday party B) ...although it was the same party that I griped about in the Confessions thread... :wth:
You must know the situation , if its better to lie or better to tell truth. If sometimes telling truth can be more haremful then lieing , then i would rather lie and save my ass. The strange thing about lieing is , that if you once lie some big lie and then people belive it , then later you will rather lie than tell truth..
Lying is bad. Unless it's about the burning tyre outside school last Saturday, which is a different matter altogether.
I think that when push comes to shove, honesty is best. But the problem with saying "Yeah, lying sucks!" is that "lying" is such a broad term. If you've got a planned surprise party for someone, and they get suspicious and eventually confront you about it, what are you gonna say? "Yes, I am. There goes the fun." Or "Nah, you're crazy." And on the subject of hurting people, yes, I think little lies can be okay to protect someone. For example, once when sitting around the table with my grandparents they somehow got onto the subject of swearing. My grandmother said "But Lyndie doesn't swear, right?" Now, what am I gonna do? Say "Yes Grandma, I have a mouth like a truck driver sometimes." No, I'm not. Because thinking that I don't say "####" or "####" makes her feel better, and it's not an important issue. I think that lying as a whole should be avoided, but little trivial things don't hurt. Plus, like someone else said, you don't tell an already self-concious friend there haircut is terrible or they just aren't pretty. None of that is important anyway.
i think that telling too many lies it's not fine.. well, it depends anyway by the kind of situation you are in. I lie only when it's necessary.. and since my schoolmates are all liers (exept a couple of them) i don't want to be totally honest with them.
I think lying is bad, but sometimes you "need" to lie not to hurt someone. But most of the time, it's worse if someone finds out that you've lied... But it's better to avoid telling lies.
Lying in trivial, small stuff can be accepted, but to lie in big stuff is not good. Also, big lies will get you into bigger and bigger lies...and you don't want that to happen, do you? But lying is in the human being's nature, so lies can't be totally avoided. Also, when in delicate situations, is better not to lie, it's really awful when the lie is discovered.
I don't lie, I just tell people the parts that are true and they want to hear. Then let them assume the rest. For example; A convo on the phone to my mate - Him - what was that noise Me - The TV Him - Ok, it just sounded like some one came into your house Me - I didnt hear antone come in My house Him - Ok then, but are you coming out Me - No I'm watching TV A phone call later on with the same mate; Him - You lied, you said you were in your house watching TV, but you just said that so you could stay with her Me - No I was watching TV, I never said where I was watching it you just assumed Then he just shut up and I laughed at him.
Trust is one of the most important things people can have with one another. Each time someone lies, that trust is violated and defiled.
Lying can be acceptable in some situations , but i believe you should always be honest when you're in a relationship or in an important matter. Lawyers lie all the time , and they seem to get away with it .. Wheter its putting someone innocent to jail or saving someone thats guilty.
Lying is ok if it spares peoples feelings. If the truth is something that person cannot handle then do not tell them. Sometimes keeping things to yourself can make sure people don't get hurt.
I totally agree. The only time I actually lie is to save someone's feelings or little things that keep me out of trouble with my parents... I don't tend to tell huge lie stories because you trip over your own tracks and it's just too much of a hassle.
after lying to my EX boyfriend and him lying to me it totally screwed us up. so lying gets you no where! it's pointless! the truth always comes out in the end. it really effected our relationship and we both regret it because it was a year and three months of our lives. we tried again but we just couldn't trust each other anymore so we had to end it. it's really sucks for both of us because we both still want to be together. that is why i'm so very honest now. [btw this happened this weekend. but lying stopped months ago. so we were trying to fix our relationship for about 4-5 months.]
One cannot live telling the truth their entire life. Lying is fine to a certain extent. When you lie to the extent that nobody believes you anymore...then you're in a very bad situation.
Lying in general is not a good idea. Little things to spare someone's feelings are all right, but in general, be honest. (I can't lie.)