Got Something You Want To Let Out?

this is to hybrid soldier, i said i would get back to you. what you desribe is really about learning your bounderies, if you felt hurt by your boyfriend leaving you, you need to take a breath and not throw yourself in something you dont want to do, and if you wanted to do it, there is no reason to judge yourself that way just because you feel you didnt live up to expectations that sound very christian to me , being a good girl and all that. be a good girl to yourself, if you are good to yourself, you are good to others. get in touch if what you are doing is what you want to, if it is go ahead and dont feel bad about it because you feel you are supposed to. if it feels wrong dont do it, respect your bounderies, dont say yes if you mean no. but you are learning so dont give yourself hard time if that is the case, just do it better next time. next time is time to do it the way that is respectful to you and respectful to the guy, if you let the guy do something you dont want to do, you are letting him to use you and i am sure a lot of guys dont want to use you, its just if you dont show your backbone and bounderies, you invite people to do it. if you show your backbone and bounderies, they will for sure show you respect and if they dont, they need a lesson of somebody teaching them, its doing them a favour. if you show your bounderies, your teaching them respect if they did not already know it. so girl, take a breath and try to find ways how to treat yourself well, how to feel good about yourself, and heal that horrible abandonment by your boyfriend, see the bright side, you are young, why chain yourself to a dream of kids, i had mine when i was young, it was a tough lesson and a good one, but i also could have learn it without having to care for somebody else before i was ready for it. and you need to ask yourself, was having kids with him a dream you would have wanted to come true? was it something you were expected to have in your life? you know one day it will come to you, when you are ready. so get out there, have fun but do it with self love and self respect, thats what others will get from you.

 

aw thank you. that is some really good advice. hehehehe
lol no i am not a Christian though, hehehe if you go to teh "what religion are you" post you can see some of my views. hehehehe but i have very high expectations of myself, and when i slip a little i feel bad. i should probly work on that. but at the same time i want to slip so i dont have to live up to such high expectations. lol im jsut all confused. lol i think i was jsut on the re-bound. he was my first really b/f so i had never dealt w/ it b4. but no i would have not wanted kids w/ him or even to marry him. he is too irresponsible. but what i wanted and needed was that feeling of love. that no matter what things would be ok. he was like my rock. someplace i could go when i wanted to escape. that is y it hurt. i guess it was just a hole that i filled w/ him. it wasnt really him, it was what i got from him. i feel alot better after talkingabout it and thinking about it. and he is an a$$-H*le for doing this to me. so that proves that he isnt a good marraige guy, and i know he wouldnt be a very responsible parent. but i think he was looking for that love too and that is y he wanted the kids. also it would mean taht i would have to stay w/ him. he is love starved and was looking for it aswell. i think he dumped me cuz he didnt want to be dumped. i was going off to college and he was afraid. he will never have as good a g/f as i was. all i wanted was for him to be happy and healthy. at the same time he was good for me too. hehehe i feel better now
thank you very much. and if you ever want to talk or something just e-mail or PM or something. lol im on all the time
thanx i feel better :hugz: hehehehe

 

yep, first time breakup hurts as all that follow. but don't hang on your anger, go into the field and scream your head off to let it off, it doesnt do you good to feel angry about what he did. he was needy, my boyfriend is 21 and is also mixed up still, its not easy to work out what is best. (i am bit older as you can guess, but not that old, ha ha) there are a lot of problems in each relationship and a lot of people do deal with it just to dump the other side before more trouble gets in. reject before being rejected is common. men have issues with rejection, women with abondonment, generalising here. try not to hold on to blame, it does not help you to let go. just go into what you feel and try to express it, scream, cry, run anything to let the emotions out and so you can let go. there are plenty more men out there you will meet !
i will have to go now. but feel free to ask

 

I was glad when I broke Up with my first girlfirend.I hate to say it but she was a really horrilbe person who only cared about me buying her things.I broke up with my new girlfriend yesterday but hey it was cool while it lasted

 

well its been over a month now. and i am comfortable in my new found single-ness (finally). yes the first break up does hurt, especially cuz i got emotionally attached(not as much as i could have though. thank goodness!) but i have let out how i feel and i have come to accept it. there isnt much i can really do about it. besides im friends w/ his sister and her friends and they all are mad at him so i dont have to be hehehe
now i am happy just having a good friends(w/ benefits heh heh heh) he is a lot younger (20, 21 in June) than brian (he was 21 adn will be 22 this month). but eveyone is older than me (17 )! and he is in a band i like not having the commitment issues, but at the same time i know i am goign to get attached to him and want him to myself, even thought he told me that he will do stuff w/ other ppl if he goes up to Oregon or Colorado or even to his band member's house down the street if chicks are offering *sigh* (at least i know he ALWAYS uses protection) i dont know there are problems w/ EVERYTHING. lol well ppl are ppl no matter how you look at it, so there is where the problems come from lol
well thank you much. how old are you anyway? geez you have a lot of good advice for a young one hehe. see i just got into this dating thing and boys when i turned 16. i really didnt do much b4 then, so as much as i know in corrolation w/ other ppl, when it comes to my own life im kinda lost...i soppose...i guess i jsut kinda get emotional and dont think things through in the best way. if i would calm down and look at things i would have less problems. i i always like talking to ppl about my problems. most of the time no one cares at all thank you

 

I am at a loss with myself... I feel alone too much and I have a loving family and a boyfriend who seems to care about me. But sometimes when I think of myself I wonder why I'm the way I am and I get very lonley because I think that no one in the world understands me the way I understand myself. I try to talk to God but sometimes I even feel distant from Him. I don't know what to do and thought maybe I could get some feedback from you guys. Please help me out, or at least let me know of anything you relate to this with. Thanks.

 

i know where ur coming from. i have/do feel taht way sometimes.
but about hat "them not understanding you teh way you do" thing....do you put the real you out there? the only way they can see at least part of you or the way you think is if you show it. do you talk to these ppl? i mean really talk. tell them your feelings and your fears and how you think? and i dont have any experience w/ the god thing, but do you talk to him like that? it could be a good way to get things off your chest if you dont watn to talk to the others....hmm im not sure if this is helping any. but realize that you are your own person and everyone is different....i hop ethis helped a little

 

Thanks. I have a comment or two to return. The thing about telling ppl my feelings is out of the question. I don't want ppl thinking I'm some selfish, psychotic, female dog. I don't trust myself enough to just tell my feelings. I would be afraid of being rejected, you know? That's my worst fear, being rejected by someone I care deeply for, or know well enough to care some-what. I do share a little tho, but not enough I guess. I see your point. But what do I do if I'm afriad to tell what I feel. What if I'm afraid of losing those I care about because they won't like or want me anymore because I'm so hard to please? I don't think I could handle that.
And no I don't put my 'real self' out there. I couldn't. Ppl would laugh at me and think I was crazy. I always say I don't care what ppl think but I guess I really do. I just try not to show it. But things hurt me so I try to be proper and not be who I want to be inside so I can please those around me. I've always been that way. I always want to please others. It's like this obsession I have....
Any thoughts on this? Thank you again, I really appreciate it.

 

omg! you sound so much like me! lol im sry but i feel/felt the SAME WAY! but not quite as bad as you :wth:
im thinking that you really have some emotional problems(no offence intended...i know i have problems that i need to work through) i am so afraid of regection. that is y i really try not to let myself get emotionally attached ya know? it is also y i hate ppl being mad at me more than anything. but i have really been trying to work through that. having a b/f was one of the best things to ever happen to my self-confidence (even if it didnt turn out that great {above} )
how is ur relationship? how long have you bben together? are you emotionally attached to him? if you are your gonna have to start letting out ur feelings eventually or ur never gonna be happy.
what i do is i go w/ the flow as much as possible. but when there is something that is important to me and means a lot to my well being i make myself say it.
an dy would these ppl who love you say such horrible things about you? you dont seem to thing very highly of yourself. :wth: i think that if you let a little of yourself out (im not sayign you should go around to everyone and tell them what youthink. im jsut saying start slow, an donly w/ important things) you will be a lot happier.

and if you need to talk and you dont want to talk to any of ur friends/ family/ b/f you can talk to me! im here and i have been through/ go through most of this stuff. you can IM me or PM me or E-mail me.
:hugz:

 

Wow! I am so relieved to know that there is someone out there like me!

To comment about the b/f thing...I've only been with him for a month so it's not that in depth yet you know? He's cool to me tho and says he really cares about me. He tells all his friends and family how much he likes me and stuff... so I don't know...I do talk to my sibs about stuff but they just tell my step mother, which doesn't care and immediately thinks I'm crazy or self centered. Which I don't think is fair because she's not even hearing this sh** from me! But hey what can I do ppl with think what they want right? I guess that's why I lock myself in my room for hours and write and listen to LP to calm my nerves. but it doesn't always work. sometimes I get so upset and can't reach anyone so I think of death and suicide. I don't want to die but sometimes I feel like it's my only option. I know that's lame and selfish, but i just get so overwhelmed. Plus, I'm so immature for being 18 it's not even funny. I always act younger than I am and I don't know why. That's why I try not to be myself because I don't want ppl to think I'm immature. I try to act older and stuff.
Anyways... thank you very much. I am glad to know that there is help and advice out there...

 

aw. i know where u are. and i understand. i do that kinda thing too. i used to think of suiside(infact on the last month i cut myself for the first time grrr) but i made myself stop.(it was cuz i was so depressed and messed up) but im better now
but seriously if you want to talkIM me or something. im not just saying that. i like to help ppl. especially in an area i sruggle in as well. and i find it easier to deal w/ stuff if u know ur not the only one and you have ppl to talk to to have been there. it can be the best medecine.

 

Thanks again....

 

my pleasure. im glad i could help

 

Well, he we are..

This is about me and my girlfriend

I last saw her on sunday..and we were sat in her house..everything was frikkin great..then monday night we had a discussion and well...it nearly all ended horribly, because im such a negative illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents, i agree like..and she said shes not being like the best gf in the world either towards me..so we agreed to work our asses off and become what we want of eachother...and i basically want to tell her that I love her and that I want to be with her forever...

Any ideas/suggestions?

(and yes I know this isnt as bad as you other people but im still entitled to post this)

 

well did u tell her that?
what does she want? does she love you and want to be w/ u forever? why was she not being the best g/f in the world? were u being a good bf?
realationships are a tricky thing. if BOTH of you whole-heartedly want to work things out to the best of your abillity, go for it. but if you guys are just not ment for eachother...at least it was fun while it lasted.
i say you should work at it for a couple of months and if things arent the way both of you need it...maybe you shoudl separate. but separate in a nice way. you dont want to be enemies or anything.

but since both of you want to work at it...its probly not as bad as it may seem
but i would suggest that you may hold off on the "i love you+want to b w/ u forever" part(unless you already tell her tha tkind of thing). she doesnt seem completely into the relationship(this is just what i get from the post...i could be off....so if this doesnt match at all w/ what is going on...jsut dissregaurd..k?) and may not apprieciate it at the moment. hmmmm
this is a tricky situation

hehehe im sorry if this wasnt very much help....
but i certainly hope things work out for the best

P.S.
if you have a problem, it doestn matter how big or small it is

 

Thanks for that mate...

Well, Ive just been on the phone to her..and we're alright again, which is great news. I started crying, because I think, that its because i love her, and with happyness that we're okay

And reffering to your post, I tell her that all the time, and she says it straight back, without hesitation.
We're going to work together, because we really want to be together.

Thanks for your concern, and help Really appreciate it


And I posted a poem i wrote for her in the 'Writer's Cover', I thought I'd share it with you all, let you know what she means to me

 

To put the icing on the cake... buy her a rose

 

I've been contemplating that all week, just dont know the best place to get one

 

I've been contemplating that all week, just dont know the best place to get one [/b][/quote]
Ebay.





I duno, a local flower shoppe? Ask your mom

 

im glad everything is worked out