My pityless self destruction

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Debus, Aug 4, 2004.

  1. #1
    Debus

    Debus Morbid Fascination LPA Addict

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    Yes, it's time for another of my crappy pieces of work. Had to write something about how i feel though. Comments are very welcome. If you think it's rubbish then please do say, i want to learn how to write better..

    I'm sorry for being your friend
    I'm sorry for ever caring
    You never wanted me
    I only got in your way
    I never fitted your bill of perfection
    No matter how hard i tried
    Five longs years as an outsider to your heart
    I'm only let in when you want me

    I could count the times you helped me
    On the tip of my finger
    And all the times you helped me
    On my bruised palms
    I've never got a thing from you
    I'm a fool for ever thinking i would
    Crimson tears burn and stain my cheeks
    And it's all because of you

    I'm buried alive inside of you
    And no one can hear my screams
    Escape is impossible
    With my broken wings
    Slash my body with your words
    Carve my heart with your treatchory
    Use me as your fuel for my destruction
    My pityless self destruction


    Thers some accidental rhyming in there as well. As i said, it's not very good but feedback is very welcome :)
     
  2. #2
    Jamie

    Jamie Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Sorry about how you feel

    Its really good though :)
     
  3. #3
    Debus

    Debus Morbid Fascination LPA Addict

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    Thanks Jamie ^_^ . It's not as good as i can do but hey
     
  4. #4
    Madi

    Madi Well-Known Member

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    That's really good, I like it!
     

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