i don't really mind if you say it sucks. but at the moment i am kinda looking for constructive critizism *i don't know how to spell that forgive me* um ok here it comes... ----------------------------- I hold on to what isn't there, I don't know how i get anywhere Eyes shut so tight the fears' bleeding through I just don't know what to do I hold on to what isn't there Lies circling me everwhere Nothing left to do but wait As i slowly suffocate Watching as everyone moves into the future While i'm held back by my sinned past No i cannot go I refuse the truth once more I roughly slam the door I fall and hit the floor The wound from my tortured heart still fresh Pain screams from my soul Nothing fills this gaping hole The truth might lead me safe from hell But you left me so what's left to tell? *this part doesn't actually rhyme but you know it's just there.. it sorta goes with the poem but it's turned into a... complete free verse* This hole you brought upon my heart still gapes I guess i need you... i didn't know I needed the pain from you to keep me from... myself Loosing grip of what wasn't there i slip into my own resent And subside my soul by the given knife. ------------------------ hope you didn't think it was horrible!
You were actually hesitating to put this on here? That's awsome for a beginner dude. I'd give it a 7/10. I think you did an awsome job.