my first poem...

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Arhaz, May 7, 2004.

  1. #21
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    thabks all! really i didn't expect a good response...it's really nice gettin noticed for once...thank you especially anya and sydd for postin! ^_^


    i have another one...

    How they rock...


    Ever found someone who can hear you?
    Who can interpret, though they really don't know you?
    Who crept through your thoughts, who think like you do?
    These are the people who know you from within
    They know how you lose, and know how you win
    They feel the pain that you've felt before,
    They pretend, but it's made their core,
    It's there with them, so they can tell,
    It hurts so much, so tight, it made them yell,
    So they can summarize your every inch,
    They awaken you to reality with their past's stench,
    They know you better than you know them,
    So let them take you, let them see you,
    Let them count your every step,
    Let them do what they have to, let them be your help.



    this is entirely dedicated to linkin park alone!!! :rawk:
     
  2. #22
    Messy Marj

    Messy Marj LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    it's ok, but i think your poems before this one were better.
    Maybe i miss the frustrations in the poem, but hey..it's just me. Don't mind me ^_^
     
  3. #23
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    yeh, totally! i miss the way i used to write...i showed my poems to my dad once and he was like "that's lp thing, it's like sooo rock....write lighter poems or it'll go to your head!"
    but really, i think i shouldn't care for that....i should write the way i like....the way i'm used to....well, i guess? :mellow:
     
  4. #24
    Messy Marj

    Messy Marj LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    yeh, totally! i miss the way i used to write...i showed my poems to my dad once and he was like "that's lp thing, it's like sooo rock....write lighter poems or it'll go to your head!"
    but really, i think i shouldn't care for that....i should write the way i like....the way i'm used to....well, i guess? :mellow: [/b][/quote]
    yeah, i think you should write in the way you like, in the way you're used to. Write what's popping into your mind, and i think it wil be ok then, i think. :D

    I don't want to force you, just write what you like.. ^_^
     
  5. #25
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    death

    just when every second seemed so close,
    on i lay in a pose, counting them
    i claim every moment that i've got
    the billions that i had, now i feel all lost
    insecure on all that i've missed
    death walked nearer and hissed
    whispered somehting in my ear and everything i knew went blur,
    my parents faded away before me,
    felt so jaded to use them
    my mom wailing,
    couldn't feel her clutch
    now numb, yet wanted one last touch
    i didn't want to close my eyes
    wanted to apologize,disclose the lies
    before i knew it, i couldn't see at all
    my head numb, yet hurt like i terrible fall
    disbelief that now i'm none
    just someone some people didn't know
    hidden so low by what i've done,
    so aside, they didn't even know.
    my position was miserable
    it's now gone, felt all alone, felt all torn
    unable to answer to death
    could feel how it slyly crept
    the grabbed senses pleading for mercy
    this is ture, this is life's sorcery...
     
  6. #26
    Maëlle

    Maëlle I've seen it all

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    Very good ^_^
     
  7. #27
    ass_kicker

    ass_kicker Banned

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    some great work right there. ^_^ i love your last one.
     
  8. #28
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    thanks a lot for the positive response. i write poems everyday during class, so i'll be adding in a lot. ^_^
     
  9. #29
    Messy Marj

    Messy Marj LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    Good work dude! :)
    Keep on writing such good poems!
     
  10. #30
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    What I feel


    I feel like this when you take of me,
    I feel like this, it’s not meant to be,
    Feel what you’ve made of me,
    Created this, you’re blind, can’t see
    The truth of what you’ve taken
    Left behind shaken,
    Ending up in the worst of it all,
    Created distress, that’s what I feel.

    I feel the pain, you don’t know what,
    It’s like you’re caged, it’s like you’re caught,
    Strangled up with all the care,
    Not for me, only on the reflection at which I stare.
    Haunted by the mystic night,
    Don’t want to be out; don’t want to feel the fright
    I’m not how I was before,
    This is how I feel; want to runaway through that open door.
     
  11. #31
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    Holding on to you


    I know this is vague for me to do,
    I know it’s real unlikely,
    But I’m holding on to you,
    In spite of all I’ve been through,
    I trust myself beyond it,
    I let myself to the rescue,
    I know you don’t deserve it,
    Yet I’m holding on to you.
    I curb all I’ve ever wanted,
    Crush it all in a go,
    My feelings never even flaunted
    The want to hold on to you.
    Letting myself be pulled by you,
    I know it’s gonna end soon,
    But no sooner will I realize,
    You are the only person whom
    I’ll ever hold on to.





    yep, another poem....and his time please tell me how it is.... ^_^
     
  12. #32
    LPstreetsoldiergurl14

    LPstreetsoldiergurl14 Well-Known Member

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    great work! keep writing they're all good!
     
  13. #33
    ~*Numb*~

    ~*Numb*~ Well-Known Member

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    those are both really good! you have a lot of talent
     
  14. #34
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    thanks a lot!!! ^_^ sooo nice of you guys!


    Steady

    I stand with thought
    In a place with blankness
    Stare in, caught
    The empty hollowness
    Let loose all I forgot
    Subsistence, survival
    Recollect all you taught
    And then slow revival…
    Reveal the tender look
    Pasted with cold frost
    And then you took off,
    And left me lost.
    My eyes peel with
    The dawdling murder
    However, the echo slid
    Through my unbolted ear.
    You may not know, but
    Every look of yours locks in,
    Leaves an undying cut,
    Like a scar on memory that’s made of tin.
     
  15. #35
    Messy Marj

    Messy Marj LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    ^_^ good as always!
     
  16. #36
    *figure.09*

    *figure.09* Banned

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    same here, i luv this with emotion in it!! :( :'(
     
  17. #37
    ch|e|s|t|er

    ch|e|s|t|er Active Member

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    B) they r ok...but i dont really like some emo music,i can right emo songs if i like but most of the time i dont.......no offense thought, your are great!!!
     
  18. #38
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    thank you...for all the response! you guys are neat!!! all offensive suggestions are taken in a positive way! thanks tons...workin on another poem...and i'll make sure to post it here first....maybe with a little less emotion...yeh, i'll work on it! ^_^
     

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