Jokes

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Tony, Jun 2, 2004.

  1. #61
    Morgan Reanimated

    Morgan Reanimated Active Member

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    :x
     
  2. #62
    linkin park 101

    linkin park 101 Shhh! If You're Quiet I'll Show You A Dinosaur

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    I made this one up by myself

    why did everyone run out of Hungry Jack's (Burger King)?

    Because someone dropped a wopper.

    :lol: :lol: :lol: or not :(
     
  3. #63
    Cal

    Cal LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Euro 2004 Joke

    Why do women prefer English men?

























    Because they can stay on top for 90 minutes and still come 2nd :lol:
     
  4. #64
    emmmers

    emmmers Super Member LPA Super Member

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    :lol: :lol:

    Two guys are walking their dogs. One guy's got a Doberman. The other guy has a Chihuahua. The first guy looks up and says, "Hey, here's our favorite watering hole. Let's go in and have a drink."

    The second guy says, "Are you kidding? We've got our dogs with us. They wont let us in there."

    "No problem, just follow my lead." The first man puts on a pair of dark sunglasses and starts to go into the bar. The manager happens to be standing by the door and says, "Hold it, hold it! You can't come in here with that dog."

    "Why? He's my seeing eye dog."

    The manager thinks for a minute and says, "Well, okay, come on in."

    The second guy says,"What the heck, I'll give it a try." he puts on his dark glasses and walks in.

    The manager starts laughing and says, "What do you think you're doing? You cant come in here with that dog."

    "He's my seeing eye dog."

    "A Chihuahua?"

    The guy thinks for a minute and says, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua??"
     
  5. #65
    Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    LMAO.

    that joke is halarious.
     
  6. #66
    Atsuzen

    Atsuzen Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Don't quite get it but ... :lol:
     
  7. #67
    Mechanical Christ

    Mechanical Christ Ein heißer Schrei LPA Super Member

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    a few blonde jokes.... try to think of your own answer before reading the answers.



    Why did a mirror have six holes in it??
    Highlight : a blonde tried to shoot herself.


    Why did they invent the microwave?
    Highlight : so blondes could cook too. (even with that they still can't)


    And the best of the three here....

    Why can't a blonde dial 911?

    Highlight : she can't find the eleven.
     
  8. #68
    Canadian Joe

    Canadian Joe Bacon strips LPA Super VIP

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    A young boy walks into family court and approaches the judge. The judge asks the boy... "So son, what can I help you with?"
    "I dont wanna live with my daddy, he beats me!"
    "So you want to live with your mommy, right?"
    "I don't wanna live with my mommy either. She beats me too!"
    "Well then, who do you want to live with?"
    "I wanna live with the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, they don't beat anybody!"

    :shifty:
     
  9. #69
    LPstreetsoldiergurl14

    LPstreetsoldiergurl14 Well-Known Member

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    A Child's Prayer

    One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
    The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

    The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

    The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

    Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

    Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
     
  10. #70
    Goofy

    Goofy Well-Known Member

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    thats good :lol:.
     

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