Mixed Feelings

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Kate, Jun 2, 2004.

  1. #1
    Kate

    Kate beat me senseless LPA Super Member

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    This is my first attempt at songwriting. Read, enjoy, review please.

    Lying side by side, sprawled on the floor
    I told you "I love you", yet you wanted more
    Your lips on my neck, your hands on my skin
    You're blind to the paradox we now live in

    CHORUS
    Stop what you're doing
    It's going too far
    I'm losing the dream and my wish from the start
    Stop what you're doing
    Don't touch me again
    You can't have my body till you've accepted my heart

    Hair tangled in fingers, eyes closed in the dark
    All this arisen from one innocent spark
    You kissed my lips and caught on fire
    I've been burned and tormented by this desire

    chorus

    You can't have half
    And not have the whole
    You want my body
    I want your soul
    (repeat to end)
     
  2. #2
    Andrea

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

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    That was excellent! I love how it flowed. 10/10. :)
     
  3. #3
    Hybrid_Bunny

    Hybrid_Bunny Super Member LPA Super Member

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    That was really good, especially for your first attempt! 10/10
     
  4. #4
    ch|e|s|t|er

    ch|e|s|t|er Active Member

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    it's great! 10/10 but i dont like what it's about sorry but thats just me! ^_^
     
  5. #5
    Kate

    Kate beat me senseless LPA Super Member

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    Thanks! Any suggestions for a better title would be much appreciated.
     
  6. #6
    ch|e|s|t|er

    ch|e|s|t|er Active Member

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    hmmmmmm.........well is this song/poem about a personal experience, or no? if so u should make a title yourself-sry, and if not........message me b/c i have to think about it.! :rawk:
     
  7. #7
    Glenn

    Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

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    nice poem! ^_^
     
  8. #8
    Trish

    Trish Y2K LPA VIP

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    That awesome! Reminds me of something I wrote once but that is way better! Well Done!! :D
     

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