When you go, I can feel the pain When you go, I become insane When you go, my world is dark All I need is your love to spark When you're here, you kill my oppression You dry the tears and heal my depression Take away all my sadness and woe Your face makes my heart glow Everyday my soul will yearn To hear the front doorknob turn Then my heart will jump when you come And when you leave it will succumb Until the day that we perish I will embrace all the moments we cherish When you die, I'll die too Just to be in heaven with you.
Pretty nice man, it's kinda... rhymy Not necessarily a BAD thing but I dunno u could try to vary it a bit. Otherwise great work.