I don't know how to respond to this. Like Will said, it probably would be the best way to teach a lesson, but if the rule was accepted, then we might not be able to tell if someone was raped or just smacked. We wouldn't be able to judge the extreme of the situation and instead of justice, there would be ignorance. I was never hit and I came out fine...I think.
DAMNIT I WAS GOING TO LINK THAT! Yeah, I sent that article to my father's email at work. He came home and punched me in the gut. (We got a kick out of that) I printed it out and stuck it on the refridgerator and my mother read it as well. I was "disciplined" a lot. I used to just take a few spankings when I was a child, then when I started middle school my parents would smack me everytime I talked back.
I am very against parents hitting their children. Some kids turn out fine (like the thread starter) but I think the bad outweighs the good. For one thing, where do you draw the line between disepline and abuse? It gets blurry, and abusers will exploit it. Second, it hitting is violence, plain and simple. We don't need to encourage violence in the world. Edit: Just an opinion here...don't want to start any fights.
I don't think hitting your kids to the point of death is right but hitting them once is okay by my book. Grounding is nothing nowadays. Kids think "Oh, I'm just gonna get grounded if I do this. Who cares?". But if a kid knows they'd get a smack across the face if they do something stupid, they'd more likely think twice. The reason you don't accept this type of discipline is because you keep focussing on the times parents overdo it and actually go to a point were they would hit their kids for the heck of it. You have to see that some parents actually know how to do it right. =\
I don't think hitting your kids to the point of death is right but hitting them once is okay by my book. Grounding is nothing nowadays. Kids think "Oh, I'm just gonna get grounded if I do this. Who cares?". But if a kid knows they'd get a smack across the face if they do something stupid, they'd more likely think twice. The reason you don't accept this type of discipline is because you keep focussing on the times parents overdo it and actually go to a point were they would hit their kids for the heck of it. You have to see that some parents actually know how to do it right. =\ [/b][/quote] Exactly. I agree with what you said.
i dont think physical abuse is a good way to discipline your child. my parents (especially my dad) would hit me. my mom wouldnt so much only when she was really pissed off and bitchy. my dad on the other hand is out of control. me f*cking be me up a few times for having a C in one class on progress reports and such. he used to hit me in the face for putting my elbow on the table when i eat or if a slam my door when im angry. i used to take it in when i was little but now i dont really care. when my moms hitting me for some stupid reason i hit her back, my dad would crush me if i did that to him because hes so much stronger than me but i have this urge to shoot him in the face. i talk back and i dont really respect them. i dont see how hitting you child helps you discipline them. i was scared of my parents for the longest time and now i just hate them with a passion. once im old enough to move out i wouldnt even give them a phone call. i really wouldnt want my kid to be like that with me.
my father only beat the crap out of me once, I remeber I was seventeen and I came home late from school and my mom was in hospital,he asked where I was and I told him that my coach tod me to stay in for an extra hour for swimming , he didnt really by that and started beating 10 types of sh** out of me , althought it hurt the most hurtfull thing was later on he gave me a hug and acted like nothing had happen. my old man was really stingy with money I remember for my 18th birthday he gave me a set of office pens which he always got free. now as much as I wanted to love my father the worst part is that if he dies Im not ganna shed a tear for him . Ive not spoken to my dad in 5 yrs and , as for disapline Im against it . however I do think that the youth of today (England specifficly ) need to learn disapline, and get tought to respect there olders.
That's cause your dad disciplined you for stupid reasons. I mean, you put your elbows on the table and he hit you? That's just taking it too far. Now, if he hit you because you came home around 3 am. Understood. Or if you disrespected/threatened them, yeah. It's cases like yours that turn discipline to abuse.
That's cause your dad disciplined you for stupid reasons. I mean, you put your elbows on the table and he hit you? That's just taking it too far. Now, if he hit you because you came home around 3 am. Understood. Or if you disrespected/threatened them, yeah. It's cases like yours that turn discipline to abuse. [/b][/quote] he used to hit me because i didnt say hi to him everytime i saw him. so i just decided to ignore him as much as i can and i dont talk to him much and now he does hit me because he knows i dont care anymore. he gets pissed off and yells a lot for little things still, but id much rather have it where i dont talk to him or give him respect at all than if he even smacks me one more time.
I think that hitting children for disciplinary reasons is perfectly fine, as long as you don't over-do it. When I was little, I used to get poppings, and usually they sent the message across pretty effectively. I only remember getting real spankings a few times, and when I got them they were for good reasons. People need discipline, plain and simple. And I simply don't think that when you ask a kid in a nice way to stop doing what they were doing that they are going to think you mean what you say. My mom, for instance, didn't like to whip us, but my dad didn't mind it quite as much. Guess who my siblings and I respect more? My dad. We know that he means what he says. I think that a big problem in the world today is lack of discipline. I look at some of the kids at my school and see how disrespectful and rude they are, and it's because they have no boudaries. People have that "It's not my fault" mentality that really makes me sick. People don't take responsibility for their actions because they never learned a thing about consequences in the first place. All in all, spankings and the like in moderation, in my opinion, are not that bad, and probably sometimes necessary. And this came out longer than I meant it to
People need disepline, maybe, but there are other ways to disipline then smacking your children. Maybe spanking really is fine, but again, it gets to the point where it's hard to find the line between abuse and disipline. It can be hard enough to prove a parent is abusing their child, but when they can hide behind the line "I was only disiplining her!" what happens? I have never been hit by my parents. A time-out when I was little, losing dessert, worked just fine. Now, I tend to be a smartass and talk back a lot, but it's mostly in good humor, and I know when to have respect. I know that (even though I may strongly disagree with them) they have manny more years of experience then I do.
Taking away priveledges works just as good. My brother got suspended for a day at school a few months ago and my parents took his tv, along with his cable, out of his room for two months and he's done much better in school. Just take away a couple of things they love, keep it away for a while to make them feel bad and reconsider why they did it, and they'll regret doing it in the first place. This way is bruise-free.
I've had that done so many times to me that I don't care anymore, though. My mom can take away whatever she wants, it only makes me resent her. It doesn't make me behave anymore then asking me like another equal human does. I think it's the fact that my parents talk to me in a condesending way that makes me misbehave more than anything else.
That was actually much more effective for me. The worst thing they did was not let me watch tv for a week. When that happened, I actually told them to spank me and get it over with. Later on, I actually either just learned to tape the shows I missed or just watch them without my parents ever finding out. Yeah, tv was my life when I was little. I was so not one of those outdoors kids, so it definitely punished me better. A lot of the times though..with beatings, you usually just learn to try harder not to get caught.
I've had that done so many times to me that I don't care anymore, though. My mom can take away whatever she wants, it only makes me resent her. It doesn't make me behave anymore then asking me like another equal human does. I think it's the fact that my parents talk to me in a condesending way that makes me misbehave more than anything else. [/b][/quote] Say if they take away your internet for a couple of months and wouldn't guarantee it to come back until you felt bad for what you did, wouldn't that be a learning curve?
Say if they take away your internet for a couple of months and wouldn't guarantee it to come back until you felt bad for what you did, wouldn't that be a learning curve? [/b][/quote] Thank you so much Mark for seeing things the way I do. You were able to say what I was having trouble getting out myself.
Say if they take away your internet for a couple of months and wouldn't guarantee it to come back until you felt bad for what you did, wouldn't that be a learning curve? [/b][/quote] It happened, and yeah, I said that I learned to get back in good graces, but in the end result? Chances are i'll do what I did wrong again in a couple weeks. I hate to admit it but, it's most likely true.
Thank you so much Mark for seeing things the way I do. You were able to say what I was having trouble getting out myself. [/b][/quote] I'm not against spanking, though I don't like hits to the head/punching/slapping, but I'd only encourage it if what I said about taking things away doesn't work.
That was actually much more effective for me. The worst thing they did was not let me watch tv for a week. When that happened, I actually told them to spank me and get it over with. Later on, I actually either just learned to tape the shows I missed or just watch them without my parents ever finding out. Yeah, tv was my life when I was little. I was so not one of those outdoors kids, so it definitely punished me better. A lot of the times though..with beatings, you usually just learn to try harder not to get caught. [/b][/quote] Yeah...I was never an outside kid and I loved TV alot too. But taking away things didn't work for me. I don't know why, but a quick smack was more painful than no TV for me. And it worked. :wth: