Hey guys, a little introduction... I'm Ethan and I'm 13 I haven't written many songs in my lifetime but I do enjoy writing... just tell me what you think, I leave notes at the end of all my songs about what they mean so... woohoo? Okay here it is: Darkness haunting, Lurid visions fill my head, Crepuscular sights until my mind's dead, Unlit light lighting illumination, Sunless shadow, deadly meditation, Murky mist fogging gloominess, Dim dinginess, drab dull dusk, I'm losing it now, I feel so stuck But when you pull the curtains, A sensation fills my head, Thank god for you, I was almost dead, Light fills my mind now, Beautiful thoughts of daise, You see me now, halo of blaze, Look again, you'll be amazed, What I've become, what you still are, I'm sorry now, but we're too far apart, Go... (I need you to leave), Go... (I need you not to grieve), Go... (I just want some time alone), Go..... .....A promise full of lie, Lie full of deceit, Deceit full of lie, Lie is all I see, DON'T (Try to lie), DON'T (Roll your eyes), DON'T (Give me hate), DON'T...! GO (Away from me), GO (Away leave me), GO (Away again), GO...! ------------------------------------------- I think the overall idea of this song is me trying to express my knowing of people's avoidance and lies to me. I've been noticing people looking away and not giving me a chance and I guess it just popped out of my fingers with all my other emotions.
hahaha, this is just hilarious. (18:17:24) (Inkybro) uh im gunna go (18:17:30) (Inkybro) this sukcs (18:17:31) (Inkybro) (18:17:32) (Inkybro) cya (18:17:36) —› quit: (Inkybro) ([email protected]) (Quit: Leaving) and now you're here. Sorry to sound mean - but I just had to point that out. Song looks alright, but why does almost every song I see here have rhyming couplets? oh - and don't double post. I deleted that second one, but I won't go so easy on you next time
That chat room sucked (at least then), forums never suck because you're not expecting people to talk (generally that's what you do in a chat room). And you see so many "rhyming couplets" because that's how I wrote that song
You do realise that the chat-room and these forums are linked together? I'm only in there to look after things - I also have to look after another channel, so that's why I didn't seem to talk much. When I'm in there I don't want people messaging me for no reason at all - then complaining when no-one talks because of the fact they can't spell to a nice degree of English. I don't want essays, but I don't want 'omg lolz th1s is g4y' (Like I had). But bleh, moving on. The comment I made about couplets isn't directed purely at your song - but across the songs I see. I just felt the need to say it here because it will probably be the last time I post in this sub-forum until I see something I like.
You must be mistaken, I spell fine and certainly do not chat in that leet crap, please don't wrongly accuse me of things I haven't done.
..You want me to not wrongly accuse myself? No problem. All the same, I'm really interested in comments/suggestions/critique on my song rather than arguing with you.