My Song

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by CHAPSTICk, Jan 23, 2003.

  1. #1
    CHAPSTICk

    CHAPSTICk Well-Known Member

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    This is a verse in a song im in the process of writing, its really short because its nowhere near being finished, I just want you tell me what you think so i can see if im going in the right direction

    My Song
    It seems as though I’m always living in the past; then I stop and realize the present is moving too fast-

    I can’t hold on as my life is spinning out of control.
    I’m not the person I once was; I think I’ve lost my soul-

    I was so full of life, so full of happiness,
    but then the darkness crept in and now I’m so depressed

    in life, and time, and even in this rhyme
    I can feel-
    The dark thoughts that plague my mind….

    What do you think? :unsure:
     
  2. #2
    Omar

    Omar Administrator LPA Super Member

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    That's just a verse :rolleyes:
    but not a bad job, skip a few "I" 's
     
  3. #3
    CHAPSTICk

    CHAPSTICk Well-Known Member

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    thanks
     
  4. #4
    XxLPxX

    XxLPxX Guest




    Cool. :D
     

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