“Lost Hope” [One more version possible] [Intro quiet rap verse] Trapped inside this dark prison Hushed screams swell up from the deep Their violent tones growing as I listen Breaking the silence as I jump to my feet Drowning out my own plea for redemption A tangled web draws itself in the distance A river of lies flows deeper with every decision Slowly drowning me with no way out And then I scream And then I scream And then I scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [V1]I put my feet to the pavement / feeling my pace quicken/ sweat dripping of my face/ as I feel mistaken/ I’m half broken waiting for this sin/ to catch up with me/ looking around for a away out of this/ I find there is no escape/ so what do I do now?/ when there’s only you to turn to/ how do go on/ when I cant see / because the sky has lost its color/ and my reasoning has become nonsense/ how do I obtain peace of mind/ when I put a bullet through my own conscience/ the infection is growing now/ I cant stop this/ [C1] So could you ever? / Is there a way? / For you to forgive what I have done/ when the pain inside is so deep/ when the pain inside is what you keep/ please don’t go/ I’m still here/ please don’t go/ don’t disappear [V2] Darkness starts to swallow up the light/ my silhouette quickly fading away/ as fear sets in/ knowing what’s about to happen/ I drop to my knees with my one simple plea/ that still goes unanswered/ my hate I can feel so close to me/ my sin I can feel spreading/ but I fight it off one last time/ to ask for an apology/ slowly my silhouette fades out/ as every moment of your silence passes/ the infection is growing/ I cant stop this/ [C2] So could you ever? / Is there a way? / For you to forgive what I have done/ when the pain inside is so deep/ when the pain inside is what you keep/ please don’t go/ I’m still here/ please don’t go/ don’t disappear [ending rap] Trapped inside this dark prison The river of lies getting deeper again As I await payment for my treason With screams of the dead ricocheting within My knees fail me as I hit the ground Tears soon follow remembering my sin I lay helpless with my hands bound I cry out for your intervention But only your silence answers me Now I have lost all hope of redemption And now I scream And now I scream And now I scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ________________ as you can see, it's very diferent from version one
That's awesome! The raps are great...but the last rap is off a little with the flow of the rap. Try to make it have the same amount of sounds per line if ya know what I mean. Great job though!