Rape/Molestation/Abuse/Harassment

I feel very lucky that none of this stuff has happened to me. I give the best of luck to all the people that go through rape, etc.
If people start touching you in ways you don't like, then tell them to stop. If they don't then things get start to get serious. You should break up with these kind of people. Get help if it starts to get serious. If you start to get raped, etc, you have the right to defend yourself.

 

Both of my parents have verbally harassed me, but it's not that big of a deal. They just scream and curse at me, nothing huge.

I remember in Elementary and Middle school, I'd get made fun of everyday. I got pushed around like the little scrawny kid I am, throw against lockers and hit in gym class, embarrassed in front of the class by the "prep kids" (as they are called) by them pulling my pants down. I never had the guts to stand up or to rat them out, I always learned to be strong. In high school, I thought it'd be worse, but now I figure that they've gotten more mature. It doesn't bother me so much anymore, just kid stuff.

 

Yea man, I get sexually harassed at school, least use to. Now everyone just pokes my stomach, sides, and other ####. I'm just paranoid of it now....

 

i would be, too. hold on, dips.

 

It's not real easy, after awhile it just gets to you and you have no more self respect. It's horrible.

I've lost myself almost completely.

 

but youre still here. and youre still dips, eh? did you get depressed about it?... im not sure why im asking.
still here. katie.

 

There's only been one incident that has happened to me in my life that would be considered anything near sexual harrassment.

A few years ago, when I was about nine and my older brother, Ryan, who was eleven, invited his friend, Josh, over to our house for the night just to hang out, the usual.

At the time I'd have done anything to hang out with Ryan and his friends, one because they weren't much older than me and two, frankly they were more fun to hang around than with my usual group. So in a way I idolized Ryan and his friends. The night started out pretty smoothly, much to my surprise they included me in many of their little games; Truth or Dare, flashlight tag, etc.

As the night grew on we eventually decided to sleep in my room because it was bigger and I had a queen size bed at the time. We moved in a spare matress that was supposed to be for Josh to sleep in, but apparently he decided otherwise. Come time for us to all go to bed, I slept in my bed, Ryan slept on the spare matress on the floor and Josh..was next to me. Stupidest thing I could have ever allowed him to do. I didn't think much of it and just went along and slept.

A couple of hours later he shook me awake and I remember turning over in the bed to see him sitting up, wide awake. He then asked me to do..some things with him that I were sure weren't exactly tolerable as far as my standards went, but I couldn't exactly do anything about it. I tried reasoning with him, claiming I was tired and wanted to sleep but he persisted until I, bewildered with what he wanted me to do, eventually complied with his course of actions. One thing led to another and eventually, we both went back to sleep, and woke up the following morning, pretending nothing happened. I never told anyone, thinking it was just some absurd phase or other that Josh was going through, and went on with life. I wasn't raped, but..I don't know what happened. I never wanted it to happen, that of which I'm sure.

So over the couse of the years I've been pretty good at keeping the memory at bay, avoiding Josh as well, but the past has a nasty habit of slipping into the present from time to time. I know the word rape/harrassment has had a different effect on me for the past few years now.

 

wow. i hope youre ok. but at least he didnt physically force you to do it...
forget it. what a stupid thing to say.

 

I didn't do it willingly. I was confused, bewildered, young and stupid. I wouldn't have done it willingly, no.

no, I wasn't raped, because a part of me still let him do what he did, but I know it was wrong.

And your right, I probably shouldn't have posted the event, but it was something that happened to me so I figured I'd share.

 

hmm... i just figured out i kind of get your point, caitlin... in a way i went through a simmilar thing but mine wasnt as bad. i was like... lets see... it was 5th grade so i was about 11. no 10. yeah i was 10. and i was playing spin the bottle with this older guy and some other frinds. it was on a camp so there were a lot of other older people there, like 13 and stuff. anyway. i had to french him for 2 minutes and during that he had to put his hands nder my t shirt. not that i had anything there... but anyways. yeah so it was my first french kiss and it was f*cking unromantic and the guy was embarrassed and i had no boobs back then so it sucked. but i didnt want to do it. nobody forced me, but you see, once i get a dare, i have to do it no matter what because thats just the way i am. im weird.

 

I grew up in an abusive home. My Dad would beat around my brother, call him fat and talk about him like he was a piece of ####. He even made my brother make his own paddle so he could beat his butt with it. He's only hit me a few times and I think the reason why he hasn't beat me around like my brother is because I'm a girl. Grammie said it was because unlike Kevin, I had vocals and would scream back. Even though I was afraid of getting backhands or being slamed into walls.

I was molested when I was five by a friend of my fathers. He asked me if I wanted to "play house" and proceeded to take me to the bathroom where he made me touch him and asked me to pull down my panties as well. I can't really remember if he touched me or not. My mind kind of blanks at some points when I try to remember.

When I was about 13 I met this guy named Jonathan. I thought he was awesome and we got along. Well, he had more intentions. He wanted to have sex with me and touched me a lot. Sometimes I'd touch him just so he'd stop touching me, and because I was curious. I was only 13, you know. Anyway, one time he tried to have sex with me, even had me undressed and he was underssed, but I said no, not unless he had a condom. He finally gave up after awhile.

I've also been sexually molested by my cousin, but I don't want to talk about that. It's too much to discuss and I'm ashamed of it more than anything in my life.

Later on I met another guy named Jason. I was about 15-16. Anyway, we dated for awhile and did some random fooling around that I wasn't intirely comfortable about but did anyway. I don't really know why but I hate myself for it. One time, he even sat on my chest and tried to make me suck him off. I was scared, even though I laughed about it and shoved him away.

Also at this time I was curious about the same sex. One of my best friends and I used to play around and it was how I discovered how I was bisexual. The only thing was I was always doing things for her. She basically used me, and now she doesn't even talk to me anymore. I told her I loved her and stuff, and she basically pushed it aside, rubbing in my face about the first time she had sex and about her boyfriends. She still insited we do what we'd done for years, saying I should just lie to my boyfriend at that time, Chad. I didn't really like having to lie to Chad but he wasn't really much of a boyfriend anyway. Eventually I lost contact with her and I kind of miss her, but I also can't forget what she put me through.

I often wonder if people see me and think just because I'm ugly, that I deserve to be treated like a piece of #### and should be abused and molested. Because really, until I met my current girlfriend, that's all I was getting and it was really disturbing me. And when she was mad at me once, and write in her livejournal I was all over her and touching her when she didn't want it, I felt like the world crumbled around me. I wish she would've told me it made her feel uncomfortable because I felt like all the monsters who've messed up my life. Although we've since patched things up, I still sometimes wonder what possessed her to do that.

That's my story.

 

wow. what are you f*cking supoessed to say. i feel sorry for you but i dont want to pity you. so maybe i should just shut up and get on with my life.
hold on.

 

I got egged today walking home, I think it's by the same kids that tormented me in elementary school. Right after that, some stoners or rednecks drove by and starting flashing gangsigns and stuff at me. What's the point?

 

hahah... yeah i agree. theres no point in egging. but anyways. back to the topic.