Come Undone

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Cassie, Nov 29, 2003.

  1. #1
    Cassie

    Cassie The time to hesitate is through.

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    I've always kinda wanted to write a song or poem called, "Come Undone" I finished writing this one last night and it works so ta-da! Please comment! ^_^ Thanks

    Come Undone

    How can I find myself again,
    When my walls feel like they're closing in.
    It's hard to breath and no way out,
    My head is consumed by thoughts of doubt.

    I want to suffer and I like the pain,
    You'll realize my mood often resembles the rain.
    But I can't change the way I feel,
    I just want the insides to seem real.

    I'm unraveling and spinning around,
    How long before I hit the ground.
    I'm coming undone and feeling misplaced,
    I've shown myself I can be a disgrace.

    I'm feeling so faithless to me and this skin,
    I'm constantly screaming although I never win.
    I'm empty and faded beside the outer din.

    But I can't change the way I feel,
    I just want the insides to seem real.

    I'm unraveling and spinning around,
    It's obvious now I've hit the ground.
    I've come undone and lost my place,
    I've shown everyone that I'm a disgrace.
     
  2. #2
    Omar A

    Omar A Beyond Science LPA Super Member

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    Wow I love it!!!

    I love the chorus :D

    Keep on writing :)
     
  3. #3
    Cassie

    Cassie The time to hesitate is through.

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    Thanks Omar :D I was surprised by how well the chorus turned out, glad you liked it.
     
  4. #4
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    Hey hun, that's awesome. Sorry I didn't post on this sooner. You have awesome talent w/this stuff, keep it up!
     
  5. #5
    morningafter

    morningafter Well-Known Member

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    It has some Linkin Park elements to it, but it's great! :D
     
  6. #6
    Cassie

    Cassie The time to hesitate is through.

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    Is that a good thing? Linkin Park elements? :wth:
     
  7. #7
    morningafter

    morningafter Well-Known Member

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    Hell, of course! But I said some... only a few, the rest are really original and good!
     
  8. #8
    LornVourkolakas

    LornVourkolakas About To Blow Chunks

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    Well, obviously morning_after is a LP fan, so yes, I think it is a good thing. :lol:

    Btw, great poem. You really put your feelings into this. Great job. :)
     
  9. #9
    Cassie

    Cassie The time to hesitate is through.

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    *laughs @ herself* I'm sorry Morning After, I didn't mean to come across as paranoid. I'm glad you commented on my song, thanks for doing so... I enjoyed it, really haha.

    Lorn: Thanks for the compliment, teehee. ^_^ I hope I can get as good as you :p
     
  10. #10
    LornVourkolakas

    LornVourkolakas About To Blow Chunks

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    Your giving too much credit to me. I'm not that good. Don't put yourself down. Your a great writer. This poem is better than a lot that I have written. So, don't think I'm better than you.
     
  11. #11
    Anthony.

    Anthony. .Orestes LPA Super VIP

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    "How can I find myself again,
    When my walls feel like they're closing in."

    Inspired by LP, I like this :D .

    Good song, keep on writing!
     
  12. #12
    corrupted_authority

    corrupted_authority Banned

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    its a great song - anyone can relate to it . keep up the great work
     
  13. #13
    Cassie

    Cassie The time to hesitate is through.

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    My song is relatable? (w00t) *whippa* Thank you corrupted_authority

    My song is getting all these great little compliments... thanks guys ^_^
     

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