Do you have confidence in yourself?

Well I had some thoughts and I would like to share them with you. It's kind of stupid but well. The more I'm getting older, the more I feel like I'll never achieve what I want. I'm at my last year at my university, and it's getting pretty hard. I did a lot of voluntary work in my field (PR/Marketing) and now I have a little job part-time. The thing is, it feels like I'm always thinking that there are better people out there and that I will never compete. So I'll always be one of the other's if you know what I mean.

What LP has taught me, is that you have to believe in yourself and work your ass of. If you do both of those things, you will get what you want. I do the second but the first one is pretty hard. And I have a lot of references, great ones, but I have this voice inside my head (ha!) that tells me that I just do not compete.

My question is: Do you have confidence in yourself? My post is about work but it can be about friends, love, etc too. If you don't, why? What are you trying to do to change your mind?

In the future, if I don't get my dream job, will it be because I'm not good enough or because I was just too afraid to try?

That's a pretty personal topic here, so guys be nice =)

 

I used to be extremely shy. By the time I hit 18 I started to have a lot of confidence in myself. Now that I'm 22, I haven't really thought about this subject since then. Once you start believing in yourself, all of your insecurities just sort of disappear.

 

Pre-2007: yes.
Post-2007: no.

 

Did you just woke up one day, felt badass and all your insecurities went out? =)

I assume that if you don't say why it's because it's getting too personal.. You are welcome to share, if you don't want to, I totally understand...

 

There is something about being arrested and put in jail that breaks you down and completely strips you of your dignity. I don't know if you, or anyone here, has ever heard your close loved ones say with the most Earth shattering sincerity say that they don't want to speak to you again and are tremendously disappointed in you. I had knocked most of the walls within myself down and the flood gates were open, but after that, they're higher than ever.

Of course, last time I tried to talk about this, it was swiftly ignored in the "Got Something You Want to Let Out?" thread, and a girl's boyfriend troubles were put on a higher pedestal.

 

Ouch man, I'm really sorry that happened.

 

I was extremely undoubtly shy. I still am, but now only around my girlfriend with her friends. Ever since I decided to start smiling and get out there, I started to see there were a lot of people who really like me but I never noticed. I need help with my girl's friends though, since they're all guys. And I'm extremely different from them. ._.

 

I don't really have confidence in myself that much. I keep to myself most of the time in school and around my family. I don't open myself up that much anymore, I just always have a fear of being let down.

 

None whatsoever. It makes things... difficult.

 

It takes many years of being a pushover. Some may call it evolution. I adapted so my life wouldn't be miserable.

 

I'm in the same boat. I am extremely shy sometimes with people. When I started smiling around people and stuff people started to like me a lot more. I was normally the quite weird asshole, but now people know I am still quite but am very sarcastic. I have a lot of guy friends who are nothing like me. I am really the only person in my group who doesn't party and be a asshole. So I am just that nice guy who wont hurt anyone

 

A kingly, wise man once said that courage requires no excuse, because it is merely a decision. It is a critical element of your birthrights in free-will. Courage is doing the right thing regardless of how you feel, and on the other side you feel like a million bucks. We learn that investment usually brings good payoffs, and that is true in many respects here. If you aren't liking your situation then change it - you have control. If you like your situation then seek to explore it even further.

One of the best, and most courageous decisions you could make is joining a Toastmasters Club, where an abundance of people, including me, unite to better themselves through mutual character and maturity growth by practicing public speaking skills. Consider it a good thing to do, and if it can fit into your day then consider it the right thing to do. I remember taking that first step to speak in front of an audience. Granted, i've sung in front of more before, but in the light of the room it seemed like an awesome opportunity for growth. I have nothing but praise for Toastmasters, and the integrity i've seen the members demonstrated so far from club meetings to leadership institutes. Not only do mentors await you, but friends as well. There are TM clubs all over the world. Consider yourself lucky.

I am very proud of my friend taking a leap, coming with me to a club meeting, and deciding to LIVE it up.

I really love this quote as it is so inspirational:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt

I love helping people, and so I did this to help us all out! I've been down some dark roads in the past too, some very different from the ones explained above, but I still know what it was like. It sucks, but there are better days ahead if you choose to change the way things are.

 

Wow I'm sorry. People judge other's quickly and unfortunately, our society doesn't forgive easily. I don't know what you have done, but my friend used to work with people who went in jail, and told me how it can break their confidence. More with people who passed most of their lives there, and don't know how society works anymore. She made me open my eyes on how people stay people, even if they make mistakes.

I know right, the more we open to people the more we gave them the chance to know us and appreciate us. It's hard getting 'out there' so good job for you if you are working on that every day!

Oh I know what you mean, one of my friend is the same... she says she doesn't want to open up cause she's afraid of getting hurt.. but it's like love, if you don't open yourself to love and getting hurt, you'll never find love in the first place.

*Hugs*

Yeah, that's why I need a pushover. But i'm lucky to have friends for that.

I think it's great? No?

Wow both quotes are really inspirational. Thank you very much for that. Is the Toastmasters Club it's really name? it's kind of funny, is there something I don't get about the name because english is not my first langage? Is toast about what you do at a wedding for example? Ha, I love that name! I just checked the website, and there are tons of groups in my city, thank you!

 

I have a veneer of confidence I guess. Not that I hate myself, but my self-esteem isn't particularly high either when it comes down to it. I try my best, though.

 

I don't want to sound like an A-hole, but when I think of huge LP fans (especially ones from the old-school era), I think of folks that lack in confidence. I say that because plenty of those songs are about insecurities and we all know that we can all relate to a few songs from HT or Meteora.

To answer the question though....yes. Yes I do. But I think my confidence came from being a musician and people liking my music, which helped land me my girlfriend...and I'm in my first authentic non-fling kinda relationship. That was a confidence booster too...Some time after that I started noticing girls that know that I have a girlfriend would be all over me because I'm "so sweet" (confidence booster #3)...and now that I do paid shows, radio appearances, and have a bunch of songs about girls the "OMG HE'S SO CUTE I WANT HIS BABIES" level has risen. I have an awesome amount of confidence lol. Honestly though, I don't think it's a good thing that my confidence in myself stems solely through talent and women. It's a notch above no confidence though lol

 

I'm confident at things I am good at. I am not confident at things I am not good at.

This is really how people should be. It is often said that being confident is a good thing, but this is only the case if it is actually justified confidence. If someone lacks confidence in an area they should probably try to have it objectively analyzed how likely it is that they really do just suck in that area before trying to find clever ways to boost their confidence while ignoring their shitty ability in the first place.

 

I'm trying to see how that's bad haha. I just can't do it. That's like half of the reasons for a man to be confident. Talent, women, money, looks. So you basically have the two most important things. Well done.

You can know you lack certain abilities and still be confident in those areas. I suck at hockey, but if I mess up I could care less. I'm not going to get down on myself or get nervous about something I put zero time into. I'll just do my best with what I have. Losing confidence in yourself will just make you perform at a much lower level.

 

If someone says "Man, I suck at hockey!" I think that establishes the fact that they are not confident in their hockey-playing ability. It doesn't mean they have to sulk about it or be nervous or care about this whatsoever, nor does it mean they shouldn't do their best. It just means they accurately assessed their ability in the sport and became aware it was lacking. And consequently, are not confident in their abilities.