Got Something You Want To Let Out?

time to fly or time to die?

 

i haven't been here in a while. but something is going on.


i'm pregnant.


we were gonna (actually it was ME that was gonna do it) get an abortion, even though i'm against it. i couldn't go through with it.


we decided to keep it. keep in mind this is kid number 2 for riche. no one knows, and the few that do, who i told and he got mad at me for it, we told that i'm still gonna get an abortion. even though i'm not. we haven't told anyone differently. yet.


actually i'm scared of what my mom is going to say. she had me when she was 18 and she never wanted me to do the same. i don't know if we're ready for this. even though he has a kid already, he has only seen him twice so he doesn't count. i don't know what to do.

 

I'm thinking I shouldn't go to Ozzfest. It seems so dangerous and I'll get pushed into activities which I don't want to participate in. *sigh*


This is Dan and my conversation...


DAN:

My Reply:

....I guess, no?

 

"I knew it would never work out with a whore like you. Let him thank his lucky stars it's over."

FUCK YOU, DOUCHEBAG.​

 

I still love her and now that we are friends again it's really hard , I spent 3 days with her ,it was awsome but I wanted so much more and it was like torture and one night I couldn't even sleep ,I just looked at her the whole night , so beautiful ... I think I'm gonna crye at least I get to see her everyday and she is really acting like a real friend now more then ever ... love hurts

 

Holiday, personally from what your friends are saying, I wouldn't go. Like they said, could you have more fun whilst doing something different, whilst it being cheaper and perhaps not so...erm...wasteful. I would take the camping trip...

and Emyly...love does hurt...you just cant win, when you lose something, you realise what youve lost...and so spending the time with her you would've realised how much you miss her. I'm sorta just repeating what you said...
well i hope you find the answer, i guess in just being friends...

 

We're okay. <3

 

I need to stop worring about irrational things so that I can start caring about the things that are worth worrying about.

 

So, Candi is doing the pregnancy test tomorrow morning, and I'll find out tomorrow before first if she is.

I'm scared to death.

 

Oh dear! Good luck, Casey.

Just remember that whatever happens, it'll all work out in the end.

 

How can you not care about anything ?

 

by becoming completely emotionally detached. I've almost done it before. Not a good place to be.

Other than that, if someone says that, they really don't mean it.

 

She's not pregnant, woohoo. So we went out today, and bought a quarter ounce of weed to celebrate. But she couldn't smoke it because she's on probation. So we went and (I) smoked with our friend Drea.

Good thing my parents aren't home. I'm so blazed. I'm glad she's not pregnant! Wooo.

 

That's my boy.

I haven't talked to you in a while. How've you been?

 

Yay! Happy celebrating, then!

 

haha, this same guy that was so creepy last time about Ozzfest, was nice this time.

he called me tonight. He says he wanted to hear my voice. We were talking about this huge, free rave we're going to put on up here. I guess I'm the one in charge of where it is, not to mention our map point. You see, our location has to be secret so cops don't come.

He offered to have me stay up in SF with him...at his house....or tent or whatever. He said he'd show me the town, get me connections. Give me a real feel of the city. I could go there right before my Damien Rice show...it would be perfect!

haha, he'd flirt with me...probably try to get with me while i'm there...but it would still be fun. ....


Damn it....should I do it?

 

I don't know, Holly. He seems really creepy.

 

I know! Argh!

It's so difficult. I'd be just about stuck in SF.

I can't live my life in fear though...There is no better way to go to this show, I HAVE to go to see Damien. I'll die if I miss this opportunity.

Paul should be coming here before then, though, so I could talk to him ...see if we get along, before I make my decision...then I could always sell my ticket to someone.

I think that's a good plan, actually.

 

Maybe you could stay at a hotel instead?