Got Something You Want To Let Out?

So Candi & I broke up last night. She says right now, she just needs me to be her friend. It's because she thinks she's pregnant. We won't know if she is or not until in a few weeks when her cycle is supposed to occur, but yeah..

If she's pregnant, she's either getting an abortion (which I'm for, oddly enough, but I don't think I can support that in this case) or give birth to it and give it to her aunt. I told my mom and if she is pregnant, and she does give birth to it and wants to give it to her aunt, my parents will take legal action.

But, uh, yeah. I'm pretty torn-up about the breakup. I can already feel myself slipping into a downward spiral. I've never felt his way about anyone. I don't think it's because she was my first sex partner either. I think I was really in love with her. I still am.

 

This is tearing me up in so many ways and I don't know what to do.

I don't think I could live with myself.
It could cause me permanent emotional damage.
I would go into depression.
I'd lose two of my best friends at the same time.
I'd be going against everything I stand for.
I'd want to die afterwards.

And yet I'm still thinking about going through with it. What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

What is it, Amanda?

 

I can't say it here because it involves a few LPAers.

 

I think I might have guessed. Can I PM you?

 

If you're so inclined.

 

I know how that is, I feel for you bro. However at the same time I can't help but think it's slightly hypocritical considering some of the critical remarks you aimed at me in the past but forget that. You just gotta hold on and take every day as it comes, don't let it get to you. What you're going through is probably quite purplexing and might seem difficult to handle at times but you just gotta keep it cool and if I were you I'd seriously tell your parents to stay out of it because bringing in the law will only complicate matters and make it more difficult.

I know I'm probably the last person you'd expect to get any form of advice from but I've been through almost an identical situation and I know it can get tough at times.

 

=\ You do know I am here if you need to talk and stuff, I promise.

 

in.the.shadows, I know what it is. You're going to delete your myspace. mirite? Hopefully, it's obvious that I'm kidding.

Casey, that is sad. I hope that works out for the best, whatever the best is in that situation.
---

We had this party at work last night, I was making people laugh and having fun. Someone yelled, "Janica, sing!" And she got up in front of everyone and said okay. I walked out of the room and went back to work

It's my turn to be an asshole.

 

I dont even know what the fuck to do.

 

Wow...

Yeah, this Ozzfest thing is scary. I actually talked to the guy today. He is insane for one, and LOVES sex for another. When saying goodbye to me he said, "I'll have sex with you later. bye"

So, we'd be carnies. We'd have to get our quotas, or we could get kicked off the tour at any time. so at $35 per day we'd have to make with our little games, but preferably $175/day or something. We'd have to do little games like popping the balloons or something.
We'd have to pay for food and hotel with that $35. we'd have to share rooms and such. This Paul guy sleeps in a tent. He saves his money by doing that. He sd if I wanted to, i could "cuddle up next to him." yeah...

He also wants to know if Dan's bi...I told him I didn't think so. He sd, 'Awww. well, how does he feel about nudity" so..yeah...

Also, I guess we woudlnt' get paid until the end of the tour. like the last day. sure, we'd get that $35/day, but anything else, not 'til the end of the tour. We wouldn't even get crew passes or back stage anything until the last day. And this guy that runs everything is this dirty old man from the deep south who is filthy ritch. ...he aprently has a soft spot for girls though... O.O

This guy was telling me that he was looking for orgies and such as much as he could and that he loved the flesh and didn't believe in monogamy.

Ok, and we'd probably be on this big tour bus, but they have to have someone to can drive the bus. and there is talking about having to go back to vans..and that sucks. but we'll probably have a bus.

Theoretically we could quit the tour whenever we want. and just get on a greyhound and go home.

You know, this doesn't seem very safe for me to go alone. I need my friend's input, and if Dan decides that he really does not want to go, I don't think it would be safe for me to go alone. not at all, really.

X.x

 

Whatever you do, don't go alone. oO That guy doesn't sound trustable.

 

Yeah, I agree. X.x

Safety in numbers!

 

Good ol' buddy system. *cracks up laughing*

 

It'd be a tad scary being a Carnie. I'm not sure I'm cut out for it.


Damn it, people! I need feedback!!!

 

Go if your friend goes. But if he/she doesn't, then don't go. If he goes, and you don't go, you can die. Look at the kickass chance you'd be passing up, you know?

Then again, you want to be safe. You could easily get raped by dudes like that. So, I dunno.

 

I love him, I really do, but he's a bastard.

 

what the FUCK is wrong with me.

 

I got two societies to run which I’m neglecting as I’m so busy

I'm supposed to hold the annual school Scrabble tournament but again I have no time

I got an exam coming up which I'm not ready for

My photography job is getting in the way of my studies but I can’t quit

And all the teachers are pressuring me to do stuff for them

What more can I say......I'm screwed, not to mention this is the year of my governmental examinations. Ahhh…..

 

Yeah, that is a problem

And yes, I know it is an opportunity. but we wouldn't even be with the bands or something. We'd just be the carnies. We wouldn't even get any like back stage stuff until the very last show.

And if we bow out early, then we'd not get any money and we'd not get any perks (or however you spell it) So it would all just be kind of down the drain.

My friend is mulling over this as we speak. Poor thing has a fever.


Dan's reply, titled "The Whore or the Horror"

this whole thing is stressful.