Washed

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by BroknSolace, May 27, 2004.

  1. #1
    BroknSolace

    BroknSolace Well-Known Member

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    Same as always, respond or dont..its up to you.. i just like posting... :)


    Hold onto me
    This road
    Is long and trying
    I never wanted to leave
    Truth isn’t welcoming
    I didn’t know it was going to be like this
    If everything’s the same
    Then I wish we could go back to nothing

    I am so tired
    So washed by your tears
    There is a something more in me
    And I want to disappear
    Fall down, though I’m trying
    Ill fall down, even though I’m trying

    My last light
    My own sanctity
    There is too much for me to replace
    I’m at the end of my sanity
    We have so many flaws, so much hate
    So many endless thoughts and time is a waste
    But I think we knew that we could never be safe
    There is a lot that neither of us will say

    I am so tired
    So washed by all of our fears
    There is a something more in me
    And I want to disappear
    Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
    Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying

    I wanted for everything to be right
    You wanted a life that was nothing like mine
    Something else must’ve gotten in our way
    But we knew things would never be the same
    I tried, and so did you
    Still they managed to force their own agendas through
    I cant deny the fact that you helped them
    I know you will always be my one

    I am so tired
    So tired of lying
    There is so much more in me
    Slowly widening
    Ill fall down through myself
    I know I don’t exist
    Ill fall down through myself
    And it’ll be the end of it
     
  2. #2
    Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    This is probably one of my favorites out of the ones you've done. The only thing I would change is the "I am so tired" line. Instead of stating it directly, you could be more descriptive and use more emotive words. This is my favorite part:
     
  3. #3
    BroknSolace

    BroknSolace Well-Known Member

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    He hehe...neato..umm, i dont know what i could say instead of im so tired
    maybe somthing like

    My eyes are burning
    So washed by all of our fears
    There is a something more in me
    And I want to disappear
    Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
    Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying

    or

    I feel exhaustion seeping
    Our life washed by all of our fears
    There is somthing more in me
    And i want to disappear
    Ill fall down, as if im not trying
    Ill fall down, and forget that youre still lying


    ...hmm, turns out i cant think of anything..oh well
     
  4. #4
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    I like that one a lot. :)
     
  5. #5
    Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    I like that one a lot. :) [/b][/quote]
    Agreed. ^_^
     
  6. #6
    Leones

    Leones Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Agreed. ^_^ [/b][/quote]
    yeah, I agree too.

    I like your poem/song. ^_^
     

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