This is my first try at a song, I hope you like it! Rap in () Slipping Away [Riff goes to sample] (I stand inside the shadow of time, Releasing the tension inside my mind, My frustration, at a level its never reached before, My life, nothing more than a metaphor. I wonder what I am waiting for, Going through my memories, Of good times with my family-- What fun life used to be! I wonder were it all went...) CHORUS [A Chester-esque type chorus] I'm living for nothing ... I get worse each day, My body is a husk, My days are slipping away... (The pain gets worse, and I try to rehearse - A play about the way somebody finds their way back, But I don't know how to attack this obstacle in my path, I try to react, but keep getting forced by the lack of, Determination, as I try to eliminate the side of me, That's chiding me, but its hiding inside of me, I can't find my way back until I have something I can hold onto, But what this can be, its only a mystery, As I try to discover what lies ahead) CHORUS Bridge: [Gradually speeding up] I can't hold on, (I'm slipping away) I need to find, That special person, (Person) To open up my mind. (To give me light) Please come fast, I'm slipping away, (I'm fading away) I'm not the last, no matter what you say! CHORUS [softly] Help me I'm slipping away... My days are numbered... Hopefully you know... That you can give me light... [Getting louder and faster] I'm in the blackness like night... I can't find my way, I need you to get my feet back on the ground... BEFORE I SLIP AWAY [Heavy guitars and solo] (Please do leave me alone, I want you to know, That I need you now, I need you around, To bring me back, Please don't sit back and relax, And leave me suffering, My days are numbered, I'm fading away...) FADING AWAY FADING AWAY FADING AWAY, PLEASE HELP ME STAY!
this part made me laugh "Please don't sit back and relax." but other than that, your details about speeding up and the heavy guitar solos etc. were cool - the lyrics were so-so. good job.