Cycle Seven

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Rather Red, Dec 20, 2004.

  1. #1
    Rather Red

    Rather Red Well-Known Member

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    Some of My Lyrics
    '
    My lyrics are terrible. Please read them and discuss my ignorance and incompetence. no i'm not being modest, i want you to help me grow. :)
     
  2. #2
    minuteforce

    minuteforce Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance. LPA Team

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    How's this .... you need to work on them ... :whistle:

    Well, the "lifelike" one is quite good ...
    "I'll handle life my own way" would be better .
     
  3. #3
    Rather Red

    Rather Red Well-Known Member

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    what makes that one better?
     
  4. #4
    matttheskwirl14

    matttheskwirl14 Well-Known Member

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    it sounds better.

    i like the lyrics. you could use just a little bit of help. otherwise i like them
     
  5. #5
    Rather Red

    Rather Red Well-Known Member

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    i don't know if you misunderstood, but i was wondering why the song "lifelike" is better than the others. i know i made a mistake on the one line, i see that it does sound dumb. i wrote these awhile ago in my immature days. anyway, i don't like "lifelike" as much because the lyrics are like a lot of other stuff on the radio, uses a lot of the same vocab. plus, lifelike has almost zero imagery.

    "Raise you hands up high if you know that you're a disgrace.
    Now the dirt shall vanish without a trace.
    If your hands are down, you're nothing but a liar and a fake.
    I pray for a more humble world where we can realize our mistakes."

    this is probably the only part of my own work that i would endorse at the present time. the rest of it was written without much effort(relatively), with little creative thought(relatively). i will elaborate on this song and post more of my present work soon. thank you for your input.
     

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