Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Yeah, I dunno. Some people just read too much into men not acting with 100% typical masculinity all of the time I guess. I'm pretty sure I'm not completely heterosexual but I digress on that point. It's hardly as though I act like a really stereotypical fruity gay man, and I have no idea why anyone would think that I actually am gay. It's caused problems in certain areas recently but whatever I guess. It's not like it's a long term problem I've had.

 

Hmmm I don't think I know how to be somebody's 'boyfriend'... Never even thought of this complication... lol

 

It'll come naturally. It did for me, being a good girlfriend.

Dean: Listen hon, don't listen to other people and their assumptions. You know who you are, they don't. Plus, maybe they're just jealous that you can act the way you want without worrying about being called gay when they don't have the masculinity to do that...haha.
But seriously, you can come here or I'll come over there and we can prove to them that you're not gay...

--

My ballet recital yesterday was awesome. I had been having issues with my feet and legs for a long time now and I've finally seen an acupuncturist as well as a massage therapist and it's been helping. But I was still freaked out about not being able to dance because it hurt like hell and my ankles were getting weak from taking it easy on myself. But, everything went flawlessly. I had a SOLO for the first time ever, and it was perfect. Only I can look at the video and pick out a few mistakes here and there, but they were so minor that noone else could even tell. I'm so happy that things went well, and that I made it through my solo and my other dances and I could wear my pointe shoes. Squee!

 

holy shit.

edit: that was one of the worst ideas i've ever had, but i guess it's nice to know she's doing okay...

 

What's up dude?

 

Fucking pathetic when a guy cant take care of his girl, when she's crying her eyes out.

And I'm here to take care of her. Fuck him. Srsly.

 

What the hell. There's a crack in my dad's meniscus so he needs to get an operation this week and today my mom sent me a message saying she broke her finger.

 

Amen.

 

I'm tempted to hit the wanker, I really am.

 

My music recording/editing software decided to completely take a shit on me tonight. I think I have it fixed, but that wasn't a pleasant experience.

 

So we're moving on Saturday, and I have no clue when I'll be able to get online again. This move also falls right in the middle of one of my weird phases, so I'm not going to have a good time with this.

 

my brother died 7 years ago today

i dont believe in stuff like this but on the day that he died there was a rainbow, and i swear every anniversary since that day there has been, its not even funny :/ i've just seen another one just now, before it got dark and it made me smile.

oh and to make it a little harder, he died on his birthday he was only 13.

18.06.89--18.06.02 Michael Matthew RIP little dude

 

That's awful JJ, but the rainbow thing is almost reassuring if you ask me. It's like he's looking down and letting you know he's okay.

 

That's beautiful. rest in peace

 

I'm trying to learn the art of letting go in a positive and healthy way.

 

You know... right now, for the first time ever, I literally have no direction. Like, I'm not obligated to do anything. Nothing lined up for certain. It feels weird. I don't think I like it.

 

You did not just say that. ugh

 

Dean! wazup! are you ok? juz PM me..if you want some1 to talk 2!