I tend to not title pieces, so yeah. Don't judge on the title. This is one of my older pieces. I figured I'd start with one of these since it's better than half the stuff I've written lately (though to be fair I haven't written anything in QUITE a while). ----- Wake up, society! Shake off the thought that every breath you take may matter, because by any manner of interpretation it is just one under the sun of a billion dying each day that you inhale the air into your lungs, that you exhale your breath into the sun as many expel their last as yours just passed. Past thoughts and actions take no meaning when millions stop breathing. So take up your complaints to the faint, the tainted, the painted and sainted and sacred, to the scorned, the mourned, the fragile and forlorn. Expect an answer to all trivial matters in 3-5 weeks. Until then, take a second before you speak.
I like this. It opens very strongly, giving the reader a strong feeling of urgency. However, I think a more formal opening would have suited the piece a bit better, in contrast with its ending. Of course it both works well. I personally would've prefered the latter, though. Still, nicely executed.
yeah i was thinking that when i wrote the title. This is why i hate titles. I'm bad at them. Put it in the wrong context. But yes half the reason i put this up is because i want to tidy it up but i suck at editing and revision. My first drafts are usually my final ones. wow this sucked to type on my phone.
You don't have to rewrite this, if you don't feel up to it...I think keeping old drafts, is a great thing...it helps improve newer pieces.