Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Yes, dear.

 

Dear, I'm here, you can PM me whenever you want okay? <3

 

Ugh what a fucked up day. I'd cry, but i don't do that.

 

Thanks a lot everyone..

Well. This is what he told me. He said he has a lot of crap going on in his life right now, which is very true. He has a lot of family problems. He also doesn't see where out relationship is going anymore.. he kinda just lost interest. He says he just can't stay with someone if it just doesn't feel right anymore, which I can understand. If you don't feel something with someone anymore, you just don't.. you can't force that kind of thing. It just really hurts to hear it.. but he says I'm an amazing person and he desperately wants to keep me as a friend. He stood in his driveway with me for about an hour and a half to talk with me and make me feel better, so he wasn't a dick about it. In the end, after I blamed myself, blamed him, and then finally accepted it I told him I would really like to try and be his friend. He said, "I was really afraid of telling you this, I've never broken up with anyone before and the last thing I wanna do is see you cry. The reason I'm staying with you right now is because I don't want you to leave unhappy and me ending up losing a friend.." and then we just talked some more. He said he has a hard time accepting love because he's so confused in life, and then he started blaming himself saying he's a fucked up person who doesn't know what he wants out of life, and that I'm way too good for him and he doesn't deserve me. He wants to go on a missions trip for three months to find his place in life because he feels like he doesn't belong here..

I'm sure there's more but I'm sure that's enough for one day. I'm not bad at him.. just hurt, but that's expected. I just want him to be happy.
.

 

Anya. . A lot of people would just settle for being on bad terms, blaming themselves or the other person, and just be eaten up by the negativity. You, you're a truly lovely person.

 

I feel like becoming a very angry person...

 

Love, please don't.

 

Yes.

 

At least let me be a cynic, for a little while?

 

Holy fuck my head hurts. It's like my head hurts more often than it doesn't lately.

 

You already make Charles Bukowski look like a Teletubby, mate.

 

As long as you don't go all Bazarov from 'Fathers and Sons' on us, okay, hon?

 

Dean: And I don't even drink.

Mali: I don't like Nihilism that much, anyways.

 

Today I woke up wheezing and I could barely breath. I started coughing up blood and whenever I did my back was in excruciating pain. I went to the docs and now I'm on antibiotics, 2 new inhalers and whenever I use my normal inhaler at home I have to use it through some weird foot-long tube that makes me look like I've got some kind of serious medical condition. I'm ok now but I was pretty freaked out earlier.

 

God damn, she takes my breath away.

Did they figure out what's wrong? Glad your alright!

 

Mmmm I know the feeling.
Mine hurts about 99% of the time. Literally.

 

MY guess is...

Your in college, and your thinking tons and focusing alot.




You'll be fine, if you cant relax, and it still hurts, see your doctor.

 

So yeah.. crazy night. I hung out with my friend Jackie and Janine. I got drunk, it was fun.. José (the guy who broke up with me recently..) got drunk too. I was hanging out at Janine's apartment and he wanted to come over, and Janine said that was cool.. she had to get up at 3:00am to go to work though which was crazy so she didn't want him to stay for too long. He finally gets to her house to see me, and Thomson from Best Buy who works with us and José's brother David is driving behind him. Janine says "Woah, I didn't want that many people here dude.. I'm sorry, but, I have to be at work really early." He gets pissed and says he's not "appreciated" and drives home without even saying a hello to me. Thompson and David let him go home, and they come up to me saying that he's had a few too many drinks.. and that he's being a dick right now.

So Thompson cheers me up the whole night.. says José is lost right now in life. Then we all played card games. Thompson took me outside and let me cry on his shoulder for a while. He made me turn off my phone too so I wouldn't text José..

I have really good friends though. Even if that night turned out kinda bad.. some good came out of it as well. Thomson and David helped a lot.

I'm still kinda tipsy so this story might be confusing.

 

Mike: Aww, squee! That's so sweet. Did you guys hang out yesterday?

Anya: <3

Luke: Aw man, that's really scary. I'm glad you're okay now, though. Hopefully it doesn't escalate to anything.

 

So today she was really, really friendly to me. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND.