Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I'm getting another pet today!!

 

What exactly are you getting now, if you don't mind me asking?

 

Another rat I should post a picture of Dixie soon. She's only 3 weeks old compared to Pixie who's 4 weeks old so she's tiny.
Dan and I walked into the store today after doing some shopping for him, and there were only 3 large rats left in the display box, they were about 8 weeks old and so we got told there were a bunch of young ones out the back. Difference between Dixie and Pixie - Pixie is grey and white, while Dixie is brown and white. Pixie's getting the shits with Dixie. Dixie was annoying her while she was trying to sleep and Dixie has a habit of shitting all over me whenever I pick her up. Rat Nuggets Dan and I call them.
His flatmate's cat came back today

 

I don't want to be alone...

 

Fuck you, BETCH.

 

Trying to get a job has been much harder than I anticipated. I wish I was back in school already...

 

Suddenly feeling really shitty sucks.

 

I'm so annoyed.

 

I've read from various sites that Oprah was shot to death in her house. WTF?

 

One full day without seeing her...I'm trying to force myself to stop calling...but should I have to be so afraid to call my own fucking girlfriend? This is so painful, I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought we were on the same page, but we don't even seem to be in the same book. I sat around all last night hoping she would call after work. She didn't.

She said she was sorry for ignoring me last time we were together...but she doesn't seem to be trying to make it up to me. I don't know, this just hurts so much. I had nothing to eat but half a smoothie and 5 tic tacs yesterday. She knows I am hurt and dying to see her. I don't know what to do. If she doesn't see me today...fuck.

Should I just pack her bags and count my losses? I thought she was something special but maybe I was just wrong. She doesn't seem to think the same of me, if she's even been thinking about me at all. Or maybe she is just thinking about breaking up. I have no idea what's happening. It's all happened so fast.

I hate being alone so much...

 

Wow.



So Pakistan is Fucked again.

 

My brother is such an ass.

 

QFT.


Race weekend needs to be over asap. I want to go over to DD but there's too much commotion going on over there. Ugh.

 

After a while you begin to realize that she may just be busy or tired after work, or whatever, and if you don't see her for one day...big deal. I haven't seen my boyfriend in two weeks, but granted, we've been together longer so there's more of an understanding but still. You guys just need to be able to develop that understanding that she isn't going to call you or see you every second she has off from work or isn't too busy. I'm sure everything will work out okay.

 

I don't really care so there's no point in telling me... geez.

 

I'm doing too much. I'm a junior in high school, taking 8 classes in an 8 period day, all of which are accelerated or AP, or just plain hard. The classes themselves are fine, besides the fact that each teacher assigns in depth homework every night, to the point where I get home at 3 and I work steadily through it and I'm still doing it at 8:30-9:00, and haven't even finished and I give up. I understand the material...it's just that there's way too damn much. On top of school, I have ballet almost every night of the week, but I haven't had time to make it there due to my school, and school comes first. My teacher is getting disappointed in me, even if she doesn't say so, I know she is. On top of that, I work every weekend, this past one for 19 hours. I love to work, and it gives me something to do on the weekend, but that means that I don't have a day to relax. On top of that, I'm getting sick, and I've BEEN getting sick since Thursday. My body just can't heal all the way becasue I'm always so tired and so stressed out from everything else. Today I came home early from school and relaxed a bit, but I still know that I have so much to do. The biggest thing, that's keeping me stressed, on top of everything else, is that I haven't seen Josh in just over 2 weeks. It's not really either of our faults because we're both so damned busy, and he got sick too, it's just SO frustrating. It sounds shallow to say that I'm also very stressed because I haven't had sex in almost a month, but it's true. I haven't been able to have any physical release and I just haven't been able to make love to Josh in that long. It's hard for me to do that. I'm used to several hours, every week. Plus since he's been sick and crazy-busy with work/school like me, he rarely gets time to actually talk to me. Whenever we do talk it's a MAYBE 10 minute conversation while he's in the middle of work or isn't too busy at work, or when he's trying to get last minute essays written 45 minutes before his class. Before our 5 minute conversation today, I last talked to him on Friday night, which is partially due to the fact that I work all day on Saturday and Sunday, and it's hard to take calls while a plane is taking off or someone is needing my attention or assistance.

I just need time to myself, and time with him. October 9-13 I don't have school, and I'm already laying down the blueprints for me to spend the night with Josh one of those nights. I wish that I could see him during this week, but I kind of doubt it.

However, I guess I can look forward to next Monday, because we have set plans to see each other because he's taking me to my road test. At least there's that to look forward to. And who knows, maybe he can pull a day off out of his ass for Saturday, who knows.

I just need a little island for me and my honey, and all will be well. Ha.

Edit: Letting it out really does help.

 

it's been one heck of a long long day .. i'm really tired ..

wish he was online *sighs*

 

i don't even know how i feel anymore. I can't even describe it. I'm not sad but i just feel empty, like a zombie doing the same things everyday, hoping one day an awesome thing would happen for me but it never comes...
Its like i don't even want to wake up because i know exactly what's going to happen today, tomorrow and the day after that. *shakes head*

every day is exactly the fucking same.