Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I'm having one of those days again. One minute I think I'm fine and the other I just break down completely, huddle underneath the covers and cry myself to sleep. I just want normality to return. One moment I thought I went back to loving him and then I quickly snapped myself out that state of mind by thinking of that maybe I'm the reason for the fallout? I should've never come back to him, in fact if I recall it correctly he was the one that came back to me. It was working out fine the second time.......shit, I'm back to dwelling on "what ifs" and "what could'ves".
< so much I think snot is going everywhere ... *ew*

 

Why do people have to naturally be such assholes? I dont want to deal with it anymore.

 

I don't know what to say hun. Just don't dwell over things that already happened and that you can't change anymore, it's how you waste life. Take your time feeling sad about it but watch out that it doesn't turn into an obsession.


I lost 1,5 kilo in 3 days.

 

Are you pregnant?



-----


I want to get out of Pakistan. Yeah.

 

I lost it, not gained it.

You miss Japan don't you?

 

An AVO's been placed out against me. Problem is, I'm pregnant and he doesn't know.

 

I hate this fucking place. I can never concentrate on my gaming without inturruptions and then people wonder why I get pissed. If anyone had any common sense they would just leave the fucking room while I'm gaming and everything would be alright.

 

*hug*

What is an AVO exactly? And are you keeping the baby? If so, what do you want to have?

I actually had gotten pregnant at 15, Jay wanted nothing to do with the baby, and then I kinda aborted/kinda miscarried the baby. I had put myself in situations that would harm the baby, so it wasn't exactly a clearcut miscarry or abortion. But after I bled out, I took something to make sure it was gone, because I didn't want to live with the thought of my kid being brain damaged from my stupidity.

I hope you're stronger than me and can handle having a kid =[ I'll be there for you!

 

AVO is an Anti-Violence Order which is a court order restricting me to go anywhere near him because of eachother's phsyical outbursts towards each other. I told Daniel tonight while remaining calm and he's willing to drop to the AVO against me. What would I want? A boy so I can call him Vincent after my grandfather which happens to be the same name of Daniel's grandfather as well. I don't think I would be able to go through with it - no smoking and no alcohol!!!!!! And taking care of it - I can barely look after myself let alone a child. I'm only 19 as well.
Thanks

 

Well in the end, you have to do what's right, and if adoption seems to heartwrenching for you, and if having the baby is a situation you can't possibly endure at the moment, you have to do what you gotta do.

Either way, know you've got my support and you can come to me for anything.

And I like Vincent. Reminds me of Vincent Price =]

 

DS: I'm sorry that that's going on. As Rachel was saying, you have to do what's right for you. If you decide to have the baby, you have to think about where he/she would be growing up, if it would be a good environment for a baby, seeing as all this stuff has been going on with you recently. And if you decide to abort it, or put it up for adoption, well, you have to think about the emotional trauma for yourself. Personally, I would go through with it because a baby is a baby, but it's your decision. We're all here for you.

And Vincent is a great name, it's the name of the pilot that we just lost at the Aerodrome. Strong name.

Marj: Are you trying to lose weight? Generally when you lose a few pounds (er, kilos?) in a few days it's water weight. When I had tonsilitis in january, I couldn't drink/eat anything because my throat was so swollen, and I lost 14 pounds in about 8 days.

--

I miss my honey. He was being all cute and lovey on the phone last night, but that was a bottle of merlot loosening his tongue, . But it was sweet nonetheless.

 

I must be a fucking moron.

I already have 16 credits for school. I might have 19 actually, because of the course I got exempt from. And now I am ADDING another 3 credits.

On top of Honors Program.

And Alliance.

And cheerleading.

And working the desk 10-15 hours a week.

OH MY GOD I'VE LOST MY FUCKING MIND.

 

I'm always busy with my weight really. I didn't do anything special. I drink alot of water, I eat healthy. Maybe it's because I haven't been very hungry lately, plus I'm sleeping loads.


Tomorrow first day of work, I'm so mixed about it! o.o One moment I can't wait, the other moment I get all stressy about it.

 

I just spent the better part of an hour cleaning up my closets and they don't look like anyone's touched them. We've got way too much shit in this place.

I'm so glad I won't be taking the majority of this shit with me when I move out.

 

You just gotta be cool.

 

god, how i hate it when my parents fuckin fight ..

 

I know how that is. It's not nice.

 

awww thanks dean, you're so freakin sweet

 

It's rare I make an appearance in this thread, but you've got some serious balls.

All credit to you for acceptting the situation (for lack of a better phrase).

A friend of mine who is the same age as you actually gave birth to her little Matthew a few days ago.

Young mums really do amaze me. The amount of courage which you guys have to go through with everything that comes your way. Just...Well you're more of a woman than I'll ever be, I'll give you that.

Good luck to you in the future - please keep me updated :]