Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Fuck her. A if she gets all excited over the idea of me not being able to go to the game because I might have to work that night.
I don't give a shit if "it'd be so much fun 'cos then we could invite Bec and she could use your ticket."
Fuck you fuck you fuck you. I've loved you so much, for so long, and that's how it is?
Fuck you, we'll see if I'm there for you next time you need a shoulder to cry on. Final fucking straw.

 

Well fuck it, if it helps me sleep, breath and think better I'm just gonna blurt something out now and then.
What I really hate is that my earliest memory is my sister Christa hunched against the kitchendoor while my mom went apeshit on her, doing everything to hurt her while me and Leonie were crying and begging her to stop. Later on we were all in bed and my mom came in, she asked: 'And what do you say then, Christa?' and Christa said: 'I'm sorry mommy.'

 

Oh it's okay, I just have to throw all of it out now and then, so there's probably more to come when I feel like it, I dunno. As long as I have somewhere to write it out I feel a bit better. Thanks Tim. <3

 

Wow, Josh is always in touch with my feelings, but he's being really fucking stupid.

You thought that I would be OKAY with that? Are you joking?

Hopefully we can work something out when he calls me later. Because this is bullshit.

 

What did he do?

 

All i need is to find her, thats all.

I wanted to be like i "bump" into her, since we are in completely different buildings.

But what if i keep missing out like these last 3 days? idk what to do.

i don't want to go directly to her, she might think i'm desperate.

but if i keep missing her then what if i never get my chance...

damnn damnn.

help, anyone?

 

I ran into an old friend today at the mall and she told me a good portion of our class (2005) is either pregnant, had kids, engaged or married. Fucking crazy since we're all between the ages of 20 - 22. Thank God I didn't end up like that.

 

I really just want a fresh start within myself.

I think Physically I have had one But mentally I'm stuck in the past.

 

i think i'm actually going to miss my dad.

 

Do as you wish love. You can't be meek though.

 

thanks, this week i'm gonna try to take actions into my own hands.

 

I give and I give, I don't expect anything back.


I think I just give too much.

 

Wow, I really hope you choke while your blowing him and then maybe you can die from alcohol poisoning, you stupid whore.

 

Dean: I'll let you know when I know some more. He's just not taking my feelings into consideration in a decision he's making.

 

Lets end this, shall we?

 

I can't tell if he likes me or not.

*sigh*

 

Thanks.