Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

My family's got a new cat.

 

Okay. So my results came out YESTERDAY. And everyone is harping about how they got straight As and whatnot.

Which is scaring me since my parents knew my results come out, yet they haven't mailed or called me to tell me how badly I did.

I am really scared, I am calling them, yet I can't get through.

Effing hell, I really don't know or want to know, since I know I did really badly throughout. It's just... Everyone knows their results, and now I feel....



WEIRD.


*Panics*.

 

Goddamnit mom.

Yes. It is aggravating that for the almost 3 years I've been dating him, he's managed to have one job for 6 months and be unemployed the rest of the 2 1/2 years.

Yes. It is aggravating that he puts applications in and doesn't call them back, or is busy playing XBox 360 instead of job hunting.

Yes. It is aggravating that I have to text him places that have NOW HIRING signs up.

But you know what mom? Fuck you, ok?

Don't give me that bullshit about "oh Katie was unemployed for a grand total of a month".

Yeah it's different when you live in a small town where your father is a police officer and you're a hot chick. Jay doesn't have too many connections and he's an overweight short guy. It's a bit different, and that pisses me off.

And you know what mom? HE DOES CALL. Places don't call him back! Yelling at me ain't gonna get him a job any fucking faster. If I could have places call him back, shit, I would have made sure that Target didn't screw him over and he'd still have a job. Or that Cold Stone worked out. Or HoneyDew.

But he's trying, and he's going to school, and he's taking care of his sick handicapped mother.

So fuck off, and don't bitch to me. I have no fucking control over it.

 

Pick the fucking call dammnit.



UGH.

 

i think i just lost one of my friends...i never realised how much he meant to me
guess i wan't thinking much when i told him all that crap the other day...hope that he'll forgive me someday

 

So I've known this girl since I was in 5th grade, that's over 10 years. We've had our up's and down's and been through every emotional situation you can go through, just like everyone else. We never had any physical interaction, but it's probably best that we never did, because we could always stay pretty good friends even though we were on and off because life a simply gotten in the way.

She started dating this guy last year. That's fine by me because I'm passed feeling for her like that, so it didn't bother me. I just hoped she would be smart in picking who she dates, that's all. Well they've been together for about a year now, which is great for her because she's never had a relationship last so long. Things started to irritate me with this guy that she's dating though. Around May we were supposed to hangout for a day to catch up on things. Things were going according to plan and then out of nowhere she tells me she can't ever hangout with me again because her boyfriend doesn't want her to. This immediately told me how shady this guy really is, and he should know, as everyone does, that things aren't like that between me and her.

Anyway, we eventually do hangout, because he got over it. We had a nice time, let some things out to one another about our lives and it was just a nice time overall. About a few days after that, she tells me again that she can't hangout with me anymore, but only this time if she wants to she would have to have a few of her female friends present. This is fucking bullshit. I proceed to tell her how I feel about the situation, telling her that she shouldn't let her boyfriend determine who she's allowed to hangout with because the guy isn't her daddy. She obviously didn't like that very much, which I can understand, and then things died off again after that.

Well last night I was down at Musikfest. It's basically a big festival for music, but mainly for people to roam around the sreets, let loose and get drunk. She asked me if I was going to be there and I said I would, and if we saw eachother we saw eachother but I wasn't going to go looking for her. Of course, I bump into her. I already had a few beers in me so I was feeling pretty good, acting silly but not drunk. I yell her name, flip her off (jokingly) and then wave hi to her. She walks away with her b/f like I don't exist. Fine. Whatever.

About 10 minutes after that her b/f approaches me and pulls me aside. He basically confronts me about the whole situation of the last couple months, and basically tried to act like a badass. He defends himself by saying the reason why he doesn't let her hangout with anyone is because she fucked up and he needs to keep her on a short leash. I then told him he should quit trying to be her daddy, you're not married to her and if she can't keep her arms around you, then maybe you should look for a new set of legs. I then told him to get out of my face and then I went and enjoyed the rest of my evening with my friends, walking away before I picked him up and threw him in the river.

I know it's a long rant, but it upsets me. I've known this girl since I moved into this town in 1997, and now she's just gonna let her boyfriend tell her what to do and who she can't hangout with. Well she ruined it. I'm done trying to keep her in my life so I'm just not gonna try anymore. I've already deleted her from my phone contacts, Facebook, and MySpace, and when they break up she's gonna try to talk to me about her sorrows, and I wont be there.

I need a new crowd.

 

I don't know exactly why, but lately I've been looking for Pagan rituals for children, or at least stories to teach little kids the holidays and the Goddess and the God until they're old enough to comprehend the more intense aspects of Paganism.

And by Odin, I found them. Thank goodness.

 

That's awesome. Congrats Derek

 

wow 8 days left of summer. screw summer, that means i might see her in 8 freaking days ! !! ! !

 

I accept that I'm always the friend.

Until the day I meet a girl who wants me, for me, not as a shoulder.

I'm done complaining, its getting me nowhere, And making me realize how terrible I am at dating.

 

Well, that's what I'm saying.

I realize no girl of my dreams will magically introduce herself to me and want to be with me, I know I'm only a kid, I just wish I wasn't as Mature as I am at this point in my life..I am deeply grateful for it but..It gets to me

I'm not saying Mature as in for Girls, I mean in general, which makes most of the girls I know sometimes unbearable to hold conversations. Some are Teenie annoyances, and some just think they HAVE to deal with their problems by smoking or getting High to deal with it, Rather than relying on your own mental ability to pull through.

so while they're out at parties getting High and acting Immature, I'm at home playing my acoustic guitar by myself, but at least I still have my mindset.

/rant


That felt good, God I love this thread.

 

i realised that i'm not in love with him but in one of my best friends.....

 

I think I'm going to make more of an effort to keep space between myself and the people I socialize with (friends and family). I can't seem to find the middle ground between being completely anti-social or really annoying. They give me the impression that I'm a bit overbearing lately, which is weird because I used to have a reputation for never talking. It could simply be a case of me reading too much into things again, but whatever makes me feel better I suppose, haha.

 

Congratulations, Derek!

Mike, hmmm. That guy sounds like a jerk. How come all the jerk-ass guys end up with the nice girls eh? But in all seriousness, I think you handled the situation well. You didn't let him make you ridiculously angry, and you told him how it is. As for your friend, that really sucks. I think that if she eventually gets her head out of her ass and approaches you, just try to be friendly. I know that you feel betrayed, maybe, but people get kinda lost with their decisions. You can always text me hun.

 

To me you've always been consistently really annoying

 

Oh my fucking life I just drank some milk that was off.