Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

My friend's girlfriend wanted to give me a cat for my birthday.

I told her I wouldn't be able to handle having another cat so soon after we put my other one (the one I had for almost 17 years) down.

Ugh.

 

Was I born to fail this much, or did I actually have to work at it?

 

Don't worry, There could be much worse Failures.

 

Hm, so 2 and a half years ago the one girl I ever loved broke up with me, and fair enough, I eventually got over it and moved on with my life.

Fast forward to today, and I have a dream where I meet her again and get her number, and I wake up to realise I miss her.

Help? :S

 

well it's natural for you to miss her even after such a long time....love doesn't die easy...maybe you should go out more and meet more people including girls that is...and maybe you'll find another girl to make you feel better than that did...every girl carries a different, her own kind of love...you're biggest mistake would be if you try to find someone to replace her...

 

What she said.

Also concerning my ex boyfriends, even though I do hae a boyfriend now it's not like I have forgotte them because I did really like them. Before. And that memory won't get off my mind easily. Probably never will.

 

It's an experience. I don't think anyone should ever really forget.

=======

My life is an Octavarium, and I am trapped inside it. Yep. That's right. Octavarium.


I just like the word really...

 

Mmm...I saw Josh yesterday, which was great. But when we were saying bye last night, I just got ridiculously sad and started crying. I suppose it's just because I don't see him every day and I really hate to see him leave. I think part of it too is that when he's hanging out with me I know that he's all mine and what he's doing and whatnot, but once I see him pull away in his car I feel like my grip on him isn't as tight. I'm still working on building trust after everything, and I'm getting there, I just still have all these thoughts. I just need to really hang onto the fact that he loves me and that I love him.

I wish all that shit never happened. I feel like I'll never be able to completely trust him again...and he knows it. He said that to me. He told me that he knows that I'll never completely trust him or look at him the same way again. At least he knows.

Despite me feeling sad when he left, yesterday really was great. We went out to lunch and then saw Hancock and then we came back and were just cuddling and hanging out at my house watching more movies and whatnot. It was so...peaceful.

 

" Sinking, and sinking, and sinking, and sinking. Not cool.

 

whatsup?

 

Sweetheart, we're in the exact same position right now, it's ridiculous. To make it short, yesterday morning my boyfriend and me got into a fight, it got so bad I was actually already throwing my stuff in a bag, we made up, and today we went to picknick which was so nice, so you know, we're ridiculously alike . It's all so hard when you love someone so much but you can't trust him and you can't know all the time where he is or what he's doing. Building trust is so hard.

Baaah, I wish you were here so we could hug. o.o

Also, Derek, thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me. I'm just gonna check now and then for the meantime, I just need some time to load up. <3

 

More like what's down. My mood, really. My state of mind. I don't know why. I'm just feeling a little - maybe a lot - desolate right now. Kind of like I'm stuck in limbo. Or is that purgatory?


***Hugs for both Marj and Arlene.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean. We can talk if you want.

I think limbo would be slightly more appropriate btw.

 

I am angry at your laptop, you know? It is depriving me of you.

 

Aww Marj. It does suck. You just kinda feel helpless, right? I feel vulnerable, but he inisists that he's being honest with me. Hell, he sobbed on my shoulder after everything, and I could tell it was real, it's just so hard to build the trust after it's been broken. And then after everything, they do amazing things, like taking you out to a picnic, or holding you tight the entire night and never letting go of you throughout the day. I'm always around if you need someone, hun.

I would totally hug you, by the way. <3

Thank you Aisha and Mali. <3

 

Well, there's always here, or Myspace, or Facebook in the meantime.

 

*hugs for marj and arlene*

Hey, I know what you two feel like...Trust is kinda like a vase...you drop it, and glue it back together...but one day the shards are too small to even pick them up.

Well, at least I have my work cut out for me. She broke up with me, so I won't have to worry anymore. It's really relieving.

 

I hate it whenever my sister dates. She gets all annoying and totally ignores everything that I say to her.

chyeah. She's only paying attention to me today 'cause it's my bday.
whatever.