Please comment. Jeopardy In front of a mirror you try to hide your tears Try make it clear that fear is not a part here The pain that you harbor, is the gift from a robber That has took all your love away, and left a emptiness And a longing, for the warmth that you feel is your calling Yet there is no problem solving, no compromise or tranquility Its like the beat of the heart inside that had subside and then had slowly fade Not prayer, solution, is in motion, intuition is potent as it's haunting Encased in thick and horrible clay made from the madness Such a shame it can't trap your sadness, While your sick and disturbed, is it blasphemous? Absurd? You feel you're starving, while lost in a lobby, as confusion is a' daunting Is it that every breath is making you weaker? Do you hear the fables of their young? Attack you with every gospel, and then want you to hold your tongue? I know that, I won't hold it none. Once it starts, the anger has begun. And then the fear adds up to the sum, the irrational thoughts That are a like a metaphorical gun, and that they shoot with Because they believe that you're wrong and the depression Deep inside is the circumstance for not believing, that means seeing with their eyes The same ones that judge before they know, and hold a grudge before ideals A picture frame made of steal, that shows you in cave, fire to your knees Right beside your gave, are you sick of the days? That they try force concerns on you that don't concern you?. It's like you bleed, and agnostics they fail to see You see, this is hate of the holy, with a broken heart they'll try to convert you Want you to worship, and not a have a clue, it's their conviction, they push no matter how slow Comprehension levels are low, and they persist even when ya say "Leave me the hell alone" While others are panting to just to throw you a bone, let ya off the hook It's invisible, yet was never attached, the only mistake you made was to go out with an ass So, little child wipe those tears away, fuck the religious reasons they throw in your face You can be who you want to be, no pressure to conform to the rules of society, Give them something that they'll understand, whether it be silent treatment or flipping the bird with both of your hands. Just make sure to make a stand, when you hear the voices calling you Throw their bullshit aside, now back to the matter to where you stand You gotta get up, and stop feeling sorry, he was the jeopardy of relationship The problem, the cure, the bomb that had exploded, even though it wasn't suppose to work All you have to do is make it clear that fear is not a part here And the pain that you harbor is the gift of robber that had opened your eyes Get up babe, and start to live your life EDIT: P.S. Sorry for the small text Plus to make easy to read.
It was pretty good. I think using choruses help, or if you separated it or something. Like, since it's just a big block of text, it was really easy to kinda zone out and skim through it. You know what I mean? Not that the writing was bad or boring or anything, I think it was the set up that threw me off. But otherwise, it was good.
Thanks Arlene , The text wasn't seperated because I tried to make it all one thought, but I didn't succeed in that I'm afraid.