Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

IF he asked me out, I'd say yes. IF he'd break up with his girlfriend, I'd ask him out. IF ONLY I'd stop with these if's.

 

Exactly. Just go and talk to hiiiiim. You'll do great.

 

I'd stutter and speak incoherent sentences. I think.

 

Ayyyyy! The best of luck to you!!! XD


...I love when things start to work out for people and they're happy..Yays! XD

 

Congrats dude.

 

Man, I hate his fucking guts (not directed at anyone on here). :angry:

 

My name's not actually Skywalker.

 

Good for you.

 

I just knew it was too good to be true. And I was fucking right.

I fucking hate mind games.

 

I think you need to just let her go, you deserve someone much and much better than that.

 

Surprising .

 

Note to everyone, don't take this too seriously. I'm not an emotional wreck of any kind right now. I've just been contemplating my life a little bit and why I've never thought seriously about suicide despite how shitty things have been at times. So, in typical...uhh, me...fashion, I typed it out in a long ass rant.
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Hello world...my name is Anthony, and I am alive. There are people out there who have tried to make my life suck, and to be quite honest, sometimes they've succeeded. I may not be happy about myself most of the time, and I may feel like complete shit, but I still decide to stick around, much to the dismay of some of you I'm sure. I was the kid who was looked at as most likely to Columbine the high school, I was the kid who sat quietly in the back corner trying not to be seen, I was the friendless bastard who went to school every day knowing it was going to be, in all liklihood, a living hell. My grades suffered, my emotions suffered, but I stuck it out all the way up to graduation day, and I walked out of that auditorium, diploma in hand, just as fucking proud as the next guy. Some people worry about me considering suicide, I just laugh at them. Why the hell would I off myself when I know that by staying alive for another day, I'm continuing to piss off the dickheads who tried to bring me down? Anyone who knows me really well will tell you that I never just give in and admit defeat. I was the grade school whipping boy to all the popular kids, but the more they fucked with me, the more purpose they gave me to keep going. Spite can really be a great thing when you use it to drive yourself. I sit here today looking back at my 19 and a half years, and when I realize just how big of a hell hole it's all been, I smile and look forward to at least another 19 and a half more. Like one of those ridiculously annoying sand-filled punching bag dummies, the more you beat me, the more energy it gives me to bounce right back. So yes world, you may have made my life not worth living, but go right ahead and keep it coming. To me, it's far more worth it to stick around as a big "fuck you" to everyone who tries to deal me the final deathblow. I'll keep right on going. I will never let you beat me.

So bottoms up world, here's to you.

 

I'm confused as to what I should be thinking at the moment. It's obvious she likes me. That's more or less a fact. What's not obvious is how much she likes me or how far she'd be willing to go to prove she likes me. That's where I'm a wreck. I'm a firm believer in the adage which states a "drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." She called me when she was drunk and basically told me she wanted to see me because I was fun and I made her happy. To anyone else, that could mean she likes me as a friend. But after all the subtle hints she's dropped, it makes me feel as though it's a lot more than that. And she said "I love you" before hanging up the phone both times she'd called me. I'm more than sure she's not happy with her boyfriend because she tells me all sorts of stories about how they fight and things like that. It's just really frustrating that she stays with him when she seems so unhappy when I feel like she knows she'd be so much happier with me. A couple days after she'd called me she apologized for anything she said because she was "just being stupid" and didn't really remember what she said anyway. My friend told me he saw that as her covering her ass so as to avoid confrontations with her boyfriend or to make sure I didn't get stupid about the fact that she pretty much told me she wanted to be with me. But it's cut me so deep because now I just don't know what to think and it's so God damn hard and it's only been two days. She hasn't talked to me since she apologized either. I just wish I could tell her how I really feel without it ending up weird because I just know it would. So here's to oping she opens up and comes clean to me.

 

Sometimes I sit and wonder what our secrets will do to our children. How will our secrets affect their development. Will they develop the same tendencies we have, or will they loathe us for it? How do we tell them, how do we tell anyone, really. How can we explain something we don't even really understand. How can something that is so integral in our lives be so confusing? This isn't Hollywood; you can't explain it in a flashback montage. Because no one knows, and that scares me that we have to find out on our own. What if we mess up?

How can we exact such a future on our children willingly.

 

Thanks

 

People are a joke.

 

QFT.