Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I miss her so much and I don't know why considering nothing can ever happen between us...

 

Same here.

 

I'm such a fuck up sometimes. I could have just pretended I was having fun for her....but instead I didn't and I lost my temper and acted like a total dick. I feel bad....she says it's ok, but I still hate myself for it...

 

Please dont break it up.

 

bloody bitch has such hunger for power.

 

Douches, the lot of you =[

And not directed at anyone here, just so everyone knows. The LPA is lovely. I like having friends. Fuck all those people that say they're not friends because we've never really met. Directed at those assholes: I tell these "online" friends more than I tell you. I like them more than I like you. I'd walk past you in the street, if I saw one of them, I would pounce in a good way. That tell you something? Some of them understand me. I don't think you ever will. I don't think I want you to. No, I don't. I definitely don't. You wouldn't appreciate the real me. I kind of want someone here to understand me, though. Someone I can cuddle, someone I can call/sms in the middle of the night because I'm bored, and deal with the repercussions the next day, because I'm awesomely annoying like that. Sometimes the loneliness gets to me. I love music. I love my rambling thoughts.

 

QFT in my direction as well

 

Awwwh I'm happy for you

 

You are amazing for that. *high five*

@Derek: *smiles*

 

*hi-fives Andrea* you're pretty damn amazing yourself. Derek's a lucky man =]. The both of you are very lucky. I'm very happy for you.

Derek, thanks so much for it all. the LPA - all it stands for and the wonderful people in it - means so much to me.

 

Amen to that.

 

What a lovefest!


I'm so corny lately!!

 

I'd want to be that person Mali, seriously, you're awesome and don't let others get you down.

I do feel the same way, though. I don't have someone like that over here either...

 

Maaaliii! Y'know I'm here for you, always, even though we can't sms each other in the middle of the night, I'd so totally do that if possible.
And I really understand what you mean, I feel like that at times too. <3

 

I might have said this already at some point when you've mentioned that before, but I would do that, most definitely. It'd be a privelege, heh... I know exactly what you mean, anyway.

Yeah, that is exactly how I feel. There's quite a few people I'd call friends but none that I'm that close to. None that I feel that much empathy for or anything like that. There are a couple where the previously unthinkable has happened and we've just lost touch basically, there was this one guy who would now rather drink and listen to power and hair metal, and one who I'm afraid to say might not be around for much longer. Basically I'm losing all my close friends, the friendships I have left are just shallow go-out-and-fuck-around affairs and then there's all the relationship stuff that I won't go into here. I don't know whether it's me, and I don't like to think about it because that causes problems sometimes. But it's still something I feel like I should address.
I didn't have the intention of going off on a tangent, but yeah.

 

So, in approximately 2 hours, my best friend is coming up from her college to stay the night at mine. Jay is driving her up, and I don't know what to do.

Her and I had such a friendship that was unbreakable, and yet it happened, all because of a fucking guy. We were inseperable, attached at the hip, and now I'm not even considered her best friend, just because I was trying to look out for her.

I hope this weekend works out for the best.

 

I know I said "QFT" on this one, but let me exaggerate because I wanna get this off my chest. Yeah, i'm a lonely person. The only 2 friends IRL I have in this world are off doing their own things. One's a free-toting lesbian and one is dating a mix of Derek Vinyard and Jay Briscoe (wrestling fans will get the latter), so yeah...they're off doing their own thing. And it's not only that, it's just in general. Sure, I have my family but it feels like they're too busy picking on me when they don't realize that i'm pretty fucking fragile at points of my life. They make fun of what I do, what I watch, what I listen to. They may say that they're "carrying on", but you don't need to. Fucking understand. It's pretty bad when I can tell someone I know from either Russia or France, or Florida my deepest secrets and not my family. Fuck, just let me do what I want. If it makes me happy, then I should do it. If I want to sit on my ass all day and avoid you, so be it. If I want to sit on here all day talking to you, so be it. IT FUCKING MAKES ME HAPPY! SOMETHING THAT I RARELY CAN BE THESE DAYS!