Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I don't want her to fall for me to badly because I don't like her like that but she insists on trying to force me to like her. I don't want this to end the same way I did with my ex.

 

MEHH

 

what's wrong, Nick?

 

I think I really need to finally get out into the world.

I don't wanna lose all of you, but it seems like it's starting to affect my health.

 

Often easier said than done..


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Well, aren't I a genius? I just threw away another possible chance, but something doesn't seem right.

 

I know, i've tried. Never hurts to try again though.

 

... She stopped talking to me.

God fucking damn it.

 

I'm so sick of this!!!! I want to be a musician when I'm older, that's what I've wanted to do since day one. And I'm not fucking giving up, my grandparents can fucking kiss my ass for all I care. Fuck college, I need to take a year off and get an apartment and start making music. I write lyrics, I do some covers on a shitty 55 sec recorder on my cell phone, but that's it. That's all I have. I'm saving up to buy a mic and a soundcard but it's hard because my job gives no hours to me. I wanted a Fender Squier for my birthday too and nobody fucking bought me it, even though they PROMISED me. I want to just punch someone right now. I want this dream to come true....like Chester Bennington said, you need to eat, sleep and breathe music and the only way you're gonna make is if you make music your life. I'm trying to, I love music more than anything and I just want my dream to come true. My lyrics suck, I can't improve them. My band has disbanded and I'm doing it solo. I just turned 17 and time is running out....

 

You do need to get out there, and we don't want to lose you either.

 

It's not so bad. You'll find that, even though you're out and enjoying your life, you still have time to come say "hey." Don't think that you'll never come back here again, because you've made too many friends here to just stop coming here. It'll be like that little part of your day where you're like, "Hey...LPA."

 

just another day at college...and no real friends.

 

Why do I let her and this whole situation get to me?

I was THE closest friends with her, I was even the one who talked her out of her mini-depression, so why the hell was I kept out of the loop when it came to this? There's no way she can't have known I had feelings for her...

 

but you're just friends?

 

Basically, this girl that I've been incredibly close friends with, who I also have/had feelings for, I only just found out she's had a boyfriend for the past 4 months. And almost everyone else but me knew. Her response was "oh, I assumed you knew..."

I'm probably taking things way out of proportion, but meh.

 

maybe...you know the guy?

 

I only know his first name, so for all I know, I might. Probably not though.

 

hmmm...so you couldn't even sense it...

 

No, that's the weird thing, it was never brought up, or even a clue passed. If anything, her actions and words suggested she might have felt somewhat like I did.

 

whoa!...maybe it's just this girl thing. they get real comfortable with their best friend...and maybe we just get the wrong vibes.

 

Yeah man, us guys suck at reading emotions lol.

I guess I'll just deal with it.