Random Thoughts 13

Will you let me have my fun?!

 

Oh!

 

Please for the love of god lads don't concede an equaliser to those east london gits...

 

I'll probably send you something which is not big, sorry. for your bday. Fuck I know I'm really late and all. But are you in Leerdam or France?

 

YES WE FINALLY BEAT THOSE EAST LONDON FUCKTARDS!!!!!!! WOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

Was that supposed to be like Andrew Dice Clay or something?

 

I dunno. Is that retribution for me comparing you to Dane Cook or something? Not that I've actually seen much of ADC.

 

*yawn* Morning!

 

Again with fucking Dane Cook man.

 

Are "we" arsenal?

 

Hey, I wasn't doing it that time. I just wondered what you meant.

 

If you win an award, you get drunk, pass out, and smell like alcohol

 

Oohh... well, I seem to have misunderstood you. For the record, I don't like
Dane Cook. Just want to put that out there for everyone to see.

 

Time to go to Philly! The Phillies better win!

 

ARASHI

GROUP
1. Guns don't kill people. Rainbow sparkles kill people. And the people die happy.
2. Four out of five doctors recommend Arashi as a solution to most problems. 20% of doctors don't know what it's like to have happiness in their lives.
3. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Matsujun. He usually finds Aiba, who gives him milk and cookies, and then Sho tucks him in and reads him a bedtime story (but only after making sure his homework is done).
4. If you spell Arashi in Scrabble, it means you win forever. Of course, you have to spell it in kanji.
5. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...yes, these are some of Arashi's warm up exercises.
6. You can learn everything you need to know about all of Japan by watching the Kitto Daijoubu PV.
7. The Americans have Chuck Norris, the Chinese have Jackie Chan, the British have Daniel Craig, and Japan has Arashi.
8. In the Dewey Decimal System, Arashi is 1.00.
9. I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Arashi.
10. Arashi once went fishing together in the South Pacific. Sho caught nothing because he fails, but Matsujun singlehandedly managed to wipe out the entire sperm whale population of the region, and then Nino towed New Zealand all the way to California as a surprise for Clint Eastwood.
11. If Arashi had lived in Sparta, the movie would have been called "5".
12. Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Arashi.
13. Some people where Superman pajamas. Superman wears Arashi pajamas (and touches himself while doing so).
14. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, because Arashi live in Japan.
15. When you play monopoly with Arashi, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars, because Leader has probably already tipped the table over while Nino, Jun, and Aiba toss the money happily into the air. Meanwhile, Sho weeps quietly on the floor over his bandmates rejecting basic math.
16. Arashi defies meteorology.
17. In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to scream "OHMIYA!" However, it was changed to just "Freedom!" for legal reasons.
18. When Arashi send in their taxes, they send blank forms with a still shot from their Love So Sweet PV. They have not had to pay taxes, ever.
19. Arashi just say "no" to drugs, because if they said "yes" it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure. Besides, they're cracky enough on their own.
20. A Klondike bar would do anything for Arashi.
21. Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless it's Arashi, in which case, the more wrong something is, the more it is exactly right.
22. The sun will go blind if it stares at Arashi.
23. Arashi can touch MC Hammer, but only inappropriately.
24. Arashi was what Willis was talkin' about.
25. Aiba and Jun enjoy playing midget poker. They use Ohno and Nino for ante.
26. Since 1999, the year Arashi was formed, rainbow-related injuries have increased 13,000 percent.
27. Jack Bauer was straight until he watched the PV for "Lucky Man".
28. People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sold his soul to Arashi.
29. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And rainbows."
30. Staring at Arashi for extended periods of time may cause rainbow blindness, and side effects of serious joy.
31. Johnny originally formed Arashi to deliver upon the world "a whole galaxy of pain and suffering," but when nobody was looking, Aiba rewrote the band manifesto. In glitter pen.
32. Arashi is not only a noun, but a verb.
33. When Chuck Norris gets scared, he turns to Arashi.
34. When applied directly to the brain, Arashi instantly cures sanity.
35. If stuck on something hard, you could always ask yourself, "What would Arashi do?" but then give up, because you could never be that fabulous.
36. Helen Keller's favorite color is rainbow.
37. Arashi will attain statehood in 2010, just after Canada but still before Puerto Rico.
38. Outer space exists because sometimes Arashi feels like dancing somewhere other than on Earth in their PVs.
39. A picture is worth a thousand words. An Arashi PV is worth upwards of a billion.
40. If you read any of this list and laughed, remember that you're on the same planet as Arashi. And laugh harder.

 

Aaah, rice-chocolate. <3

 

Nishikido Ryo is cuuuuuuuute. <3

 

I knew that.