Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

You know, even though she has a boyfriend and I know I have absolutely no chance with her at all, it still hurts to know that her boyfriend would be mad at the fact that I'm talking to her. Granted, I don't know if he's actually mad or not, but he's shot me glances that aren't very friendly and he's left comments on her MySpace about certain things. I mean, I put her on my top friends, and he left her a comment that said, "Oh look, you're on his top friends now." I don't know if he's got a problem with me or not, but I made a promise to myself not to stay friends with her if it's either just going to cause problems between them or make it impossible for me to be her friend to begin with.

The worst part is I let myself fall for her way too fast before knowing anything about her. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend until the day before I was going to ask her for her number, and that was the day he shot me the stop-talking-to-my-girlfriend glance that petrified me. I haven't been able to talk to her since, and I think she's actually upset about it, because she asked me if she did anything wrong since I didn't even say hi when we had class yesterday.

All I know is I don't want this to become some huge thing. Ugh.

 

Oh good lord. Lauren baby, that's horrible she's overreacting so much it's not even fucking funny. I just.. don't know what to say. Please don't let it get you down.

 

That is truly fucked up beyond human comprehension. I would imagine a parent doing that... in 1955. It just baffles me that some people can't
grasp healthy creativity in their own children. I'm sorry this happened to
you.

 

Wow, Lauren that's horrible. I don't even know what to say about that... it's just wrong, throwing out something as valuable to a person as her own drawings. And then for those reasons? :s

I hope you'll get your mother to act normally.

 

I'm very angry, upset and frustrated with my school. What happened below I saw with my own eyes.

Earlier today during launch break we were all hanging out outside were we usually do. A guy called Harry started running to us with is usual way of saying hi to us and as my mate pretends to try to shoulder barge him when suddenly this year 11 who has been somewhat stalking us for a few days ran towards Harry and threw him through the window. Now in all fairness he didon't throw Harry that hard and probably wasn't expecting the window to smash on Harry but it did. So at first it didon't seem he was badly injured, he staggered a bit and then almost fell over but my mate called Jordan catched him and him and Harry's mate Sam dragged him to the Nurse.

It turned out he was alot worse than we thought, requiring a bandage around his head and wrist and supervision at a hospital. Only Jordan, Sam and Tom (another one of Harry's freinds) who walked with them got to see him (Because teachers didon't want a big crowd). Harry gave them hugs before he left. Also a few teachers said good job and congratulated Jordan and Sam.

During firth period Sam, Jordan and Tom and two other people called Matt and Ryan Hall (who wrote reports about what happened because they were witnesses) were PUNISHED by the head teacher and she said something like "You could of witnessed another pupil death" and she rambled on about aload of other stuff about what they shouldn't of done despite no teachers being around that area and Harry bleeding. So they are not allowed outside and MUST remain in the library or the common room where they are supervised strictly for three weeks!

Now hang on that is fucked up! First of all THEY get punished from the head teacher despite all the other teachers saying they did the right thing. Second why the fuck did she also punish the people who wrote reports, there were many eye witnesses including me and them two also get the punishment?!? FUCKED UP OR WHAT?

So despite havving Harry thanking Sam, Jordan and Tom for quickly taking him to the nurse asap, and teachers saying they did the right thing our head teacher says it was a wrong thing to do and said they should of left him. Well what the fuck would she of done if it was her friend suffering? After Jordan told us this on the way home, a boy called Alex who is totally kind, quite and barely says anything bad started cursing down the street and said even he wouldn't of kept his cool infront of the head teacher, and yes somehow Jordan kept his cool.

It may seem like a minor punishment, but we always hang outside to get away from the hassle and bustle that goes on in the overpacked inside and we always have loads of fun. Despite this they will still come outside despite the fact there will be "spy's" and we will complain to our family managers (we have vertical forms) and our teachers we have for lessons so hopefully the message goes to the head teacher. I'm pretty sure if Harry was still at school he would be complaining to the head teacher about this.

This has gotten us all very upset, angry and frustrated with school. The fact people helped a friend who got smashed through a window by someone yet to be determined and then getting in trouble. What a load of fucking shit.

 

When will it ever end? It's bad enough I have to deal with all of the bullshit
going on in my life, but my brother being a full-blown drug addict doesn't really help matters. The thing that saddens me the most is how much I've grown to
not like him. I wish I could sit here and say "I should help him through this."
Those feelings are drowned out by how much of a complete asshole he is.
He's just a mean-spirited selfish person, and all the pleas for me trust him
are starting to fall on deaf ears. Every few months, my Father and Brother get
into some big blow-out argument about his problem, and yet nothing has changed. I wish my Father would a) just throw him out and leave all of this in
the past or b) try to get him to go to rehab. Neither one look very likely at this
point.

I'm just sick and tired of going through everyday as a completely depressed
and stressed out person, because someone else can't get there shit together.
We've given him chance after chance, yet all he does is fuck us over for his
own personal gain. Somethings gotta give. I'm not really sure how much longer I can take this. I hate to see my family being torn apart because of him.

 

I have the same problem as you. Problem is we have no where for my brother to go right now, were nearly in debt and my brother barely has any money.

 

im kinda in the same situation, some key differences, but i hate it man

 

1 year ago, I never really saw myself where I am currently. Prior to moving here, I never really thought being who I am now was ever really possible. From the year I've been here I honestly have to say I've learned so much about myself and others. I mean, normally I'm not the kind who would run from his problems, as back in the peg, life wasn't that great for me, and my reputation wasn't of the greatest, but moving here pretty much changed everything. It gave me a second chance to make things right with myself, and be who I want to be. I still have a bit of my old self kicking in me, but soon enough I'm going to prove to myself that I can overcome that.

In short: life is good.

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Lauren : Wow. Here I am thinking my mom is insane, but your's is just unbelievable. I would seriously consider taking HER to see a psychiatrist, and explaining the problem. That's honestly not normal behaviour and I honestly can't see anything wrong with you that would provoke a trip to the mental hospital. Otherwise, I think you should sit down with your mom, and try to talk some sense into her, explain (and prove?) that you are in a mental state and the music you listen to, and whatever else doesn't mean that you're insane, or affect you. You need to show her how ridiculous she's being. Good luck.

 

I love her. I still love her. I think I've always loved her.

Oh my God. I don't like this at all. I've got no chance of being with her, and yet I've got these feelings for her, still, nearly five years later.

I love her...

 

If only I could express my thoughts and feelings right now... *shrug*

 

I'm not going to bother talking sense into my mother... I've been trying to do that for as long as I can remember. This behavior actually isn't that extreme for her. And the sad truth is, I'm just going to have to shut up and "behave."

As far as my art goes I gave it to my friends instead of burning it.... but that doesn't change the fact that I have to start my portfolio all over again.

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Okay, there is this guy I'm very close too and he's said before that he's had thoughts of hurting himself, although I know he never has.... but yesterday he said that he found out he has very high blood pressure (he had a physical and it was 140 over 60 or something like that) and he might need to go on blood pressure meds and that that's going to mess him up, and he kept pressing this bottle cap into his arm leaving deep rep marks and when I took it away from him he said 'it was probably a good idea.' I wanted to tell him if he was ever feeling crappy he could call me up and just talk, but my mother had my phone disconnected.
I'm a bit worried for him...

 

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My life is back on track, and I feel much better.

 

ohh the loneliness

 

According to her, her boyfriend is a pretty jealous person who tries acting like a hard ass when another guy is talking to her.

That sounds like me with my ex.

She gave me permission to keep saying things to make him mad, too. I wonder if that's going to spell disaster or fortune? Only time will tell.

At least now I know I've got nothing to worry about.

 

I feel like such a dumbass at coding compared to my mates Tom and Rich. We got given a simple warm up exercise for our job with college and they have almost completed it whilst I am stumped

 

One month, one day since I've seen you. You have no idea how much this is taking out of me...I just wish it could be easier.

 

I am hyper!!! I had like three cans of mountain dew, then two red bulls and coke!! AHHH!!!!!

 

so things have settled down and we talk occasionally but seeing you with him still hurts like hell

but about 5% less as it did.

this shows me that i AM getting over her. if only i could forget the good times in a split second then it would be easier.

 

You never will...trust me.

Angie's gotten better for me as well...but the only problem with that was I got hurt once again almost a month ago. Once that happened, the thoughts of Angie became less depressing to think about and it made me smile knowing we had some good times. It sucks still because i'll always miss and love her, but it's gotten better. Best as it's gonna get i'll say.