Please comment ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Picture Perfect (made from scratch): Broken frame nailed to the wall, it overlooks all that is in sight Uneven lines and grotesque shades of red, beneath stained glass, it tries to hide I made you from scratch I've poured sweat and blood into getting you out I made you from scratch and eventhough I created you, I could not take you down Exposed to the world as art, not one dares to look away Such a disasterpiece, who knows what price the maker had to pay What experience had been made? Portraying a figure, lacking love What price had to be payed? Tracing lines with his own blood I made you from scratch I've poured sweat and blood into getting you out I made you from scratch and eventhough I created you, I could not take you down
Sounds like a father hating his son... It was well written. I am not sure if I would classify "disasterpiece" as cheesy or clever yet lol. Good job though
I figured I was likely off. To me, it just kept repeating the idea of creating a person you hated though, so I couldn't get away from my idea of a parent.
Well, you're really, really close! I mean...you're welcome to see whatever you'd like to in this, but when I wrote 'art' I actually meant art. Like a picture you draw, you may not like it, but when someone hangs it in their gallery, you can't 'take it down' Still...I guess the concept of a father hating his son hits the nail on the head too EDIT: I always see art as something, you put you heart and soul into, which is why I used words like blood and sweat
I obviously wasn't telling you your meaning was wrong or anything, you wrote it . I was just explaining why I saw it as I did.