Got Something You Want To Let Out?

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Mechanical Christ, Aug 25, 2004.

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  1. #5901
    John

    John LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    John, Feb 9, 2007



    Thanks Tomi, that's so true i can't wait till next week to see if i;m really gonna do something haha
     
  2. #5902
    Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Tomi, Feb 9, 2007



    Oh, and don't try too hard, you'll just trip over yourself in the process. :p
     
  3. #5903
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    Casual D, Feb 10, 2007



    I can't take who I've become after that bitch Ashley tore me apart two years ago. I feel like I don't want to even know or be associated with myself anymore because I aint the same happy person I was when I was 18 and its the most horrible feeling ever to realize this. it doesn't matter what was said to me I can't trust any women at all and even though I want to, it never happens fully and I'd do anything to go back in time and get rid of all the pain and suffering. Ever since she told me to go kill myself and posted those hurtful, hateful scathing comments on my LJ I never have looked at women or love the same way and its what I'm blaming for the way I act now.

    I cant hear a girl I like fantasize, or have a 'teenie' moment over some guy she more than likely never meet, without feeling like I want to punch a wall. There isn't a day that passes where I cant feel jealous or inadequate because something that was said, because I'm stuck in the frame of mind that it is ME that is causing me to lose these women, that it is something with ME that makes me a terrible guy and not worthy of being around. I feel like I am not worthy of a relationship and I am always scared of being left for another guy because I just can't give a girl what she needs.

    It is why I used to be such a pig online, it is why I flirted with so many girls because I wanted to be 'the amazingly hot guy' for a few moments and feel like I was doing something right..but all it did was remind me of how fucking damn alone I am. Even with me being close to someone I've known for four years now, I still don't feel safe sometimes and it hurts me. I wish I could just forget everything that happened to me and start anew but everytime I try I fail. I fear that I'll always be scared of being hurt and lord knows how many relationships it'd destroy before it destroys my life as well.

    Infact it already is and its funny how being honest here, is revealing much more than a corny and shitty apology poem ever could. I've never been much of a writer but I feel maybe I cant write anymore because I cant let my emotions show or let them go anymore.

    I'm bitter, I'm angry, I fight a lot..and I'm growing increasingly hard to be around. I've developed serious trust issues on top of it and its all because of one girl.

    One girl who I thought would be the one for me...telling me to go kill myself.

    Would it be sad to say I thought it was a good idea when she said it? I guess we can all breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't....even though, I'm so lonely and miserable.

    I hate the way my life has turned out sometimes.
     
  4. #5904
    Andrea

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Andrea, Feb 10, 2007



    HELLO DEREK. I AM NOT ASHLEY. MY NAME IS ANDREA. I AM NOT LIKE THAT ASHLEY GIRL.


    ...I get it. I get it all. I got it a million times before. When are you going to LET GO OF THE PAST WITH HER? That is going to be your downfall and it's sad that it's becoming a reality in front of your eyes.

    I'm sorry for this post....but I don't know what else to say.

    I'm angry. Like "listening to fucking Pantera" angry. Yeah.
     
  5. #5905
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    Casual D, Feb 10, 2007



    Do we really want to talk about this here? I just went to type a reply but thought you wouldn't appreciate bringing our dirty laundry into the open.

    We can discuss this over AIM (more appropriate) or I can post my reply here for the world to see..personally I pick option A. You?
     
  6. #5906
    Andrea

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Andrea, Feb 10, 2007



    That whole block of text post begged for me to post afterwards, obviously.

    But yeah, AIM ftw!
     
  7. #5907
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    Casual D, Feb 10, 2007



    I did want you to reply in here at first, but I then realized..AIM was the way to go.
     
  8. #5908
    Zakrisk

    Zakrisk Smoke weed.

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    Zakrisk, Feb 11, 2007



    I was against smoking marijuana use forever. I tried to convince my friends not to do it. I did it a few times, and then decided not to do it anymore, because I didn't see a point. Then I got in trouble for doing it...I'm grounded for lying to protect my friends.


    So... I'll be on here alot.
     
  9. #5909
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Luke, Feb 11, 2007



    We've already seen the effects of that. :lol:

    I have a very strong feeling that one of these days I'm going to punch Charlie.
     
  10. #5910
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    Casual D, Feb 11, 2007



    What did Charlie ever do to you, eh? :p
     
  11. #5911
    Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Chris, Feb 12, 2007



    Its pretty hard to come up with a few Valentines lines.. so that means I have no idea what I should write to her :lol:
     
  12. #5912
    Zakrisk

    Zakrisk Smoke weed.

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    Zakrisk, Feb 12, 2007



    I need to start focusing on school more. I need to get hours in at work. I need to gain the trust of my family back.
     
  13. #5913
    Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    Theazninvasion68, Feb 12, 2007



    Hey Sarah,
    Talk to you soon.

    I already missed a year of -us-

    Is it time to get back on track? I dont know....
     
  14. #5914
    aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    aki*lp, Feb 12, 2007



    I am just stuck in this web. Of people.

    And I really want to get out.


    When will guys understand that when a girl is nice to them, it does not mean "let's go out", but "let's be good friends"?



    I hate this whole week. Valentine's Day? :(
     
  15. #5915
    Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Tomi, Feb 12, 2007



    When will girls stop being so confusing and unclear, and stop sending us mixed messages? ;)
     
  16. #5916
    aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    aki*lp, Feb 12, 2007



    True that.

    But I don't know. ={
     
  17. #5917
    Daniel

    Daniel Run for your life. LPA Super Member

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    Daniel, Feb 12, 2007



    You're telling me. I had this customer at work, who was really cute, really nice, really funny....and you get the idea. Even all my (chick)friends at work said they swore that there was something there. And a couple of weeks ago, it turned out she got a job where I work. So i was like "Holy shit! This is going to be great!". So I asked her out, and she says that she just doesn't want anything more than a friendship with ANYONE atm, which I don't have a problem with, we're actually really good friends now. But still....don't flirt with people when you don't mean it. *headdesk*
     
  18. #5918
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Linja, Feb 12, 2007



    I. Know. How. You. Feel. Love. :hug:

    On the Mali side of the world, things are definitely confusing. Do I want to take his number from my friend with the formidable connections, what the hell do I do?
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2007
  19. #5919
    Zakrisk

    Zakrisk Smoke weed.

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    Zakrisk, Feb 12, 2007



    >I< don't want to go to school. Seriously... people are sliding through intersections. I just want to collapse in my bed and stay there until I hear a trumpet that's never coming.
     
  20. #5920
    Disenchanted

    Disenchanted The Black Parade is Dead! LPA Super Member

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    Disenchanted, Feb 12, 2007



    I hate Valentine's Day. The fluffy pink hearts and all the decorations are enough to make me sick.
     
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