Minus (Parody Writer Extraordinaire) Presents: No More Ketchup

I noticed Sarah's very "meh" version of this and decided that I could write a better one. You know, one where all the parts that rhymed in the original actually rhymed in the parody. So here you go.

Here's a better version done by me, the originator of parody lyrics.

You want salt on your fries?
With your burger and soda that's super-sized
Happy meals with a prize
You trade pickles for onions
That's not really wise.
Too much salt fucks up your tongue.

NOOOOO! NO MORE KETCHUP
I GAINED SO MUCH EXTRA WEIGHT
YOUR GUT WILL ERUPT
IT'S TIME TO ORDER APPLE PIES AND SHAAAAAKES

"May I take your order please?"
I want a number one large
And hold the cheese
And a coke. "We've got Pepsi?"
Well forget the soda
I'll just get an iced tea
"Please pull up to window OOOOONE!"

NOOOOO! NO MORE KETCHUP
"I LIKE MUSTARD MORE ANYWAYS"
YOOOUR TASTES ARE FUCKED UP
YOUR FRIES WILL BE BLAND TODAAAAAAAY

*proceed to rock out to fast food*

SHAKES AND CHICKEN STRIPS
SHAKES AND CHICKEN STRIPS
SHAKES AND CHICKEN STRIIIIIIIIPS


NOOOOO! NO MORE KETCHUP
"I LIKE MUSTARD MORE ANYWAYS"
YOOOUR TASTES ARE FUCKED UP
YOUR FRIES WILL BE BLAND TODAAAAAAAY

I GUESS I'LL ORDER A PARFAAAAAAAAIT
NO MORE KETCHUP IS NOT OKAAAAAAAAY

 

"SHAKES. AND. CHICKEN STRIPS."

I can hear Chester screaming this line in my head and it's hilarious.

 

It probably doesn't help that "shakes and chicken strips" rhymes with "fakes and hypocrites". Which was completely intentional, by the way.

 

Well, that shows how much I know. I always thought the line was "face it, hypocrite."

 

Note: Minus is not and never has been the originator of parodies.
Gan, aka Jess(E)ternal aka Grey Incubus aka Jesse aka Ryo Hazuki has been writing parodies since grade school and feels the need to clarify that Minus may be the originator of LPA parodies but not of the exercise in general.

 

I'm fairly certain that, if anyone's going to claim the "originator" title, it's Weird Al.

 

I am Weird Al.

-Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

 

In all seriousness, this is a pretty rad parody, although mustard is disgusting.

 

At the end, it turns out Weird Al's an alien.

 

And then as a twist to that twist, it turns out I'm not the alien, but everyone else is.

 

Be bringin' dem lulz.

 

That's the only way I know how to do it.

 

Lol, thats awesome.