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  1. #1
    look at my horse.
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    boston, baby
    Posts
    5,417
    alone i'll be

    crying bloody tears
    silent fears escaping me
    the scars dont go away
    flashing bright signals
    reminding me to leave

    i've helped you too long
    your sickness is inside me now
    your hate and fear inside me now
    your love and lies inside of me

    your power overwhelms me
    and once again i feel the fall
    there is just the silence
    as i crash to the ground
    breaking bones and air and hearts

    i've helped you too long
    your sickness is inside me now
    your hate and fear inside me now
    your love and lies inside of me
    i've loved you too long
    this sickness is stuck inside me
    my hate and fear trapped inside me
    my love and lies escape me

    and once again i fall for you
    i'd lie for you
    i'd die for you
    and once again i call for you
    but you won't hear
    no you won't care

    i've helped you too long
    your sickness is inside me now
    your hate and fear inside me now
    your love and lies inside of me
    i've loved you too long
    this sickness is stuck inside me
    my hate and fear trapped inside me
    my love and lies escape me
    i've lied for too long
    this sickness overthrows me
    no more hate inside of me
    no more love inside of me
    just a dying flower i'll be
    naturally
    alone i'll be

    don't you

    carbon copies
    all around
    don't you see it?
    don't you see the imposters?
    its just a lie
    they don't love you
    you're just a lie
    don't you hear it
    don't you hear them laughing?

    you're just a joke to them
    just a star du jour
    they'll find another love
    another life to take
    you're living a lie
    you're too blind to see
    don't fall into the light
    you'll end up like me

    mini armies
    all around
    don't you see it?
    don't you see the swarms of you?
    they are lying
    right to your face
    its just a facade
    don't you hear it?
    don't you hear the bullsh-t?

    you're just a joke to them
    just a star du jour
    they'll find another love
    another life to take
    you're living a lie
    you're too blind to see
    don't fall into the light
    you'll end up like me

    killing dreams
    with evil schemes
    is what they're famous for
    they'll take your soul
    make you feel whole
    then kick your ass right out the door
    they'll scream your name
    they'll give you fame
    but really they won't even care
    but you can't see
    and its killing me
    because what they're doing just ain't fair

    silent glances
    all around
    don't you see it?
    don't you see how they betray you?
    fallen angels
    pull you in
    don't you hear it?
    don't you hear how they cry for you?

    you're just a joke to them
    just a star du jour
    they'll find another love
    another life to take
    you're living a lie
    you're too blind to see
    don't fall into the light
    you'll end up like me
    you'll end up like me
    this fallen angel sees
    how horrible fame can be


    they aren't the greatest, but what can I say, I'm not that great of a writer... :wth:

    EDIT- forgot there was a swear

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Vienna, Austria in Europe... NO KANGAROOS IN AUSTRIA
    Posts
    2,697
    i like the first one better. first one - 9/10
    second song - 7/10

  3. #3
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    3,485
    yes, I agree with Katie. I had to read it two times to know wich one I liked the best. In my opinion it would even be better if you changed the 2nd or 3th 'inside' to another word or words.

    your sickness is inside me now
    your hate and fear inside me now
    your love and lies inside of me


    Keep writing to improve. I would like to see more of your writings later.

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